Practicing Holiday Hospitality: 3 Truths to Remember
I grew up in a house where glitter was not allowed. My mom preferred things clean, and often when she entertained, we used fancy dishes and nice tablecloths. But once a year, on New Year’s Eve, those rules were put aside.
About 9 p.m., people descended on our home to laugh, play games, drink root beer floats, eat snacks, and count down to the new year. Friends and family, adults and teenagers, older kids and younger kids alike mingled and laughed. At midnight, everyone threw confetti. And I don’t mean a few handfuls. We threw a lot of confetti––enough to coat the family room floor with an inch of what looked like rainbow-colored snow. By 1 a.m., paper plates would be strewn around the house, confetti hid in every crack and crevice of the couch, and sleep-deprived parents were left to clean it up (with the kids’ help, of course).
It’ll be a few years before I am ready to take on parties like my family did years ago––and who knows if I ever will (while the stuff of dreams for a kid, confetti is the stuff of nightmares as a parent). Yet those nights were a gift to so many. We laughed, ate, and enjoyed one another’s company. We got to know new families and made memories with old friends. Even to this day, I get comments about those unforgettable evenings.
But regardless of whether we host a big New Year’s gathering or have a neighbor over for pizza and a Christmas movie, we can still love others as we practice hospitality. We can show the goodness and generosity of God as we share life with believers and non-believers.
And as we welcome others into our homes and our lives, it’s helpful to remember three key truths about hospitality.
1. Hospitality can be messy, costly, and tiring.
At my family’s parties, guests spilled drinks. Confetti clogged the vacuum cleaner. Buying snacks for everyone cost money. It was exhausting to clean up. But I love what Tim Chester said in A Meal with Jesus:
Hospitality will lead to “collateral damage.” Food will be spilled on your carpet. You'll be left with clearing up. Your pantry may be decimated. But remember that God is welcoming you into his home through the blood of his own Son. The hospitality of God embodied in the table fellowship of Jesus is a celebration and sign of his grace and generosity. And we’re to imitate that generosity.[1]
No one has been more generous than our God, and his hospitality toward us led to the death of his Son. Who am I to complain about broken glasses or crumbs on the floor? We should expect hospitality to cost something—and as we stain-treat carpets and refill the refrigerator, we remember the hospitality of our God.
2. Hospitality is not a performance. It’s an act of service.
I have so often twisted hospitality to make it about me. I want to cook the perfect meal so I look good. I want my house to appear clean so my pride stays intact. I want to throw a good party so people like me. There’s nothing wrong with good food, a clean house, and a fun party. Those can be ways we love and serve others well. But when our motive is to caress our own pride, we’ve gotten it wrong.
1 Peter 4:8-10 says, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.”
We don’t practice hospitality to make ourselves look good. It’s not about us. We welcome others in, just as God has welcomed us. Hospitality is about loving our neighbor and serving them, and in doing so, pointing to the grace and love of God.
This truth also frees us from the pre-hosting frenzy that traps many of us. As we clean and cook and prepare, some of us run over anyone in our path who may detract from those goals: our kids, our spouse, anyone who interrupts our effort to get ready for guests. We steamroll those in our own homes, showing anything but hospitality to the people closest to us.
Hospitality isn’t about throwing a party. It’s welcoming “one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God” (Romans 15:7), and that can happen over a formal dinner table or simply by inviting others to do ordinary life alongside us. Hospitality is an act of service, not a performance. When we remember that truth, we can let the little things go. We can release the pressure valve of our own expectations. We can do our best to prepare, but we do not sacrifice our families and our sanity on the altar of ego. If our own kids and spouses do not feel welcomed as we’re trying to show hospitality, we’ve missed the point.
3. Hospitality points to who God is and what his kingdom is like.
Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners,[2] he called us to invite those who cannot repay us,[3] he commended those who fed, welcomed, clothed, served, and visited “the least of these brothers and sisters” (Matthew 25:31-46). Over and over again, he taught through word and action that we are to welcome those the world does not welcome. We’re to serve those who cannot repay us. We’re to love others even when they don’t deserve it. After all, that is what Christ has done for us, and that is what his kingdom is like.[4]
The kingdom of God is a place full of sinners who have been forgiven, strangers who have been welcomed, enemies of God who have redeemed, hungry souls who have been filled with the love of God. That is us. Now that we have experienced the extravagant hospitality of God shown through his Son, we are to demonstrate that to others. We’re to show those around us that God is loving, gracious, and generous.
Through the food we prepare, the homes we steward, the meals we drop off, the people we visit, and the strangers we invite for coffee, we get to display the kingdom and character of God on earth as it is in heaven. What a grand and beautiful calling we get to live out this holiday season and even in our ordinary, everyday lives.
[1] Tim Chester, A Meal with Jesus: Discovering Grace, Community, and Mission Around the Table (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2011), 49.
[2] Mark 2:15-17
[3] Luke 14:12-14
[4] Note that Jesus demonstrated hospitality, but he didn’t do it by hosting in his own home. So if you feel like in this season you cannot host or you don’t have the space, there are still ways to show hospitality. You may just need to think outside the box and get creative. Jesus didn’t have a huge home with tons of entertaining space. We don’t need that, either, in order to welcome others with love and grace.
