Learning Gratitude from the Psalms

My dad often says the phrase, “We have much to be thankful for.” As a kid, I didn’t think much of it when he’d utter those seven words in conversation or while praying before a meal. It was just something Dad always said.

But the phrase hit differently when my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Even in their grief, my dad didn’t stop speaking words of thanks. He didn’t stop when a few months later, doctors diagnosed him with cancer. And through treatments, when my parents scheduled joint oncology appointments, when my mom’s body deteriorated and she started home hospice care, and then when she eventually passed away, the steadiness with which my father offered gratitude to God felt almost maddening to me. 

I knew I had much to be thankful for—a roof over my head, food on the table, a family who loved me. Yet in the middle of my heartache, when God didn’t feel good, I was more concerned with giving God a piece of my mind rather than offering him any semblance of thanks.

What I didn’t understand, though, is that lament and thanksgiving can coexist. Thanksgiving doesn’t negate our grief, and true gratitude doesn’t sweep our sorrow under the rug. Instead, gratitude to God offered in the midst of grief can be a lifeline reminding us of the goodness of God, even––and maybe especially––when he doesn’t feel good. 

The Psalms remind us of this truth, and several of them use different forms of the term “dealt bountifully.” In sorrow, chaos, and uncertainty, the psalmists remembered how God showed his goodness and provision, and that act of gratitude fortified their faith as they faced an unknown future.

Singing in Sorrow

In Psalm 13, David cried out to God saying, “How long, O Lord?” (13:1). When cancer ate away at my mom’s body, I still prayed that God would heal her. But many days, especially toward the end, I wondered how much longer God would make her suffer. Her decline was excruciating to watch and even more excruciating for her to experience. Ten years later, I still don’t know why God made her pain last so long. 

When we’re in the middle of suffering, it can feel like it will last forever—and some kinds of suffering do indeed last a lifetime. And so, we plead and beg God to answer “how long,” and sometimes we never get the answer we like.

But still, without the promise of resolution or a bow to tie onto his story, David ends his lament singing in gratitude. In the final verses of Psalm 13, David said, “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me” (13:5-6).

I doubt David suddenly felt perky and light-hearted as he offered those words to God. Instead, I imagine him with tears in his eyes and a tremble in his voice. His grief was still there—but so was praise. Why? Because he remembered the goodness of God. 

Remembering how God has dealt bountifully with us gives us reason to sing in our sorrow. This is not stuffing our sorrow in a corner or pasting on a fake smile. No, this is an act of desperately clinging to the God who parted seas, even while we feel like we’re drowning. Praising God for how he has dealt bountifully with us is an act of holding tightly to what we know he can do and who he is even when we don’t understand what he’s doing now.

Rest in Chaos

So often, instead of trusting God with whatever I’m going through, I’m more like the Israelites grumbling in the desert, complaining about how God’s not doing what I want when I want him to do it. I grow bitter and angry that my plans aren’t working out or that life brought an unexpected whirlwind. 

The author of Psalm 116 knew far more chaos than I’ve ever experienced, saying “The snares of death encompassed me; the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me; I suffered distress and anguish” (116:3). But it’s only a few lines later that the psalmist remembers the grace and mercy of God and preaches to himself, “Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you” (116:7).

This verse offers an exhale for those of us who live our lives holding our breath. I can tend to get so stuck in the worries of the present, but Psalm 116 reminds me that God has indeed dealt bountifully with me, especially through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Even when I can’t understand what he’s doing in the present—even when life feels chaotic—I can take a breath and rest in the reality that he is good, and he will always be good.

Hope in Uncertainty

David wrote Psalm 142 while hiding in a cave. Distraught and pleading with God, he wrote, “Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul” (142:4). But then, a few verses later, he says, “Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me” (142:7, italics added).

Sometimes the future seems so dark, so uncertain, so hopeless, that we think we may as well pull a chair into the cave where we’re stuck and try to get comfortable. Rescue from our current circumstances feels impossible, and it’s all too easy to lose hope. But David knew that God would one day deal bountifully with him again. When everything felt dark, even when God himself seemed distant, David lamented his current circumstances while holding onto the hope of what God would one day do.

This season, my family and I will take time to intentionally talk about gratitude. My kids will write what they’re thankful for on cut-outs of leaves and tape them to the wall. We’ll take turns sharing around the table on Thanksgiving. We’ll echo the words of my dad as we remind our kids, “We have much to be thankful for.”

But I hope and pray that no matter what our outward circumstances look like, we will always remember the goodness of God. Because gratitude, at its best, reminds us not just of what we have but of who God is, what he’s done, and what he will one day do. 

And so, whether with smiles on our faces or tears in our eyes, we can declare with the psalmists that yes, God has dealt bountifully with us. And he will deal bountifully with us once again.