Truth to Grow Into: Discipling Our Kids for a Lifetime of Learning
Have you ever noticed how young kids love to sing the same songs and read the same books over and over again? Or how they can recall information and rhymes with so much ease? God designed kids’ brains to soak up information and to love doing it. They often have a substantial capacity to absorb and recall Bible verses, theological questions and answers, and lists such as the fruit of the Spirit or the attributes of God—far beyond what we might think.
Big Truths
When we offer our kids rich, theological information about God at a young age, it stores up a treasure trove of big truths in their minds that they can access throughout their lives—truth that helps them make sense of the world as they grow. Another fabulous benefit of giving our kids big truths to grow into is that it helps us maintain credibility with them throughout their lives as their own questions and problems grow bigger and more complex.
My son recently asked me if he would have a certain toy in heaven. It sounded good to tell him yes, that he would have all the toys he could ever dream of. But, the bigger truth—the better truth from God’s Word—is that, in heaven, we will be fully satisfied by the presence of Jesus, and there won't be anything we miss there. So even if that toy isn’t there, he won't be sad about it. This answer preserves the truth that heaven isn’t about us getting all of our earthly desires; it’s about being so satisfied with God that those things don’t matter so much. Sharing that big truth puts the happiness that toy offers him in context, and hopefully helps my son see his toy as a temporary source of satisfaction.
Little Truths
Often, though, when it comes to our kids’ questions, we settle for half-truths or fluffy falsehoods instead. We might reduce a Bible story to merely a moralistic lesson or oversimplify an explanation of theology or creation, missing an opportunity to point to God’s true power and care. We’re likely tempted to offer such “little truths” when we aren't sure of the answer or it feels like it might take too much effort to explain.
Another reason we might offer our kids little truths is when we aren’t convinced of our calling. We may feel, in the moment, that our role in the lives of our children is to shield them from any discomfort, but the greatest comfort we can offer them is the truth about who God is and what his plans are. If we place puny platitudes like band-aids on the gaping aches and questions of our kids, we might inadvertently allow an infection of falsehood to fester instead of blessing them with the healing balm of God’s truth. Friends, the gospel is timeless. They won’t outgrow it.
Using Discernment
Although we can and should tell our kids big truths about God’s character, his world, and the gospel story, we want to offer them in a package that is mindful of where our kids are developmentally. We can talk about Jesus giving his life for our sin without going into disturbing detail about his physical experience. We can tell our kids that hell is a place where people are separated from God without offering images about fire that may cause nightmares for their anxiety-ridden minds. Offering big truths doesn't mean being developmentally insensitive, but it does mean dignifying our kids by not resorting to little truths, half-truths, or fluffy falsehoods as explanations when the big stuff feels too big. This is a place to ask God for wisdom. You can also reach out to church leaders, mentors, fellow mom friends, and trusted resources for more encouragement on how to flesh this out practically.
Cultivating Courage and Comfort
If you’re reading and starting to feel like you’ve already blown your credibility by telling your children little, half, or even un-truths, don’t worry! You’ve got an amazing opportunity to dignify your child and build trust by coming to them and saying, “You know what? I said this because I wasn’t sure if you were big enough to handle the truth (or I got a little nervous when I wasn’t exactly sure about the answer), but I want to make sure you know that you can trust me, so I want to offer you a different explanation about ________.” There’s always grace for us as moms to admit our errors and keep learning and growing in our own understanding of God’s big truths.
I can still remember having an existential crisis as a freshman on the campus of my liberal arts university—wondering if Christianity was intellectually plausible and scrambling in a sort of panic to answer all my lingering questions. But I was also afraid to ask them. What might happen to my faith if I couldn’t find the answers? I now often find myself saying to my boys, “I don’t know the answer to that. Let’s find out together.” My hope is that this response will equip them to respond to their questions in humility and have the courage to research the answers in God’s Word and his world as lifelong learners.
Sometimes, though, not settling for a little truth won’t necessarily lead us to a concrete answer or explanation for our kids. Sometimes, I’ve had to say, “You know, I don’t know the answer to that. And it’s probably something we won’t ever really know until we’re with God in glory.” Even then, I hope that my kids will gain a sort of comfort with the big truth that God is bigger than what our finite minds can comprehend. I hope that the things that they cannot know will lead them to worship the God who made himself known to us in Christ.
They may be little, but our children are worthy of us giving them big truths to grow into instead of little truths (or even half truths and little lies) to grow out of. So let’s keep deepening our own understanding of God right alongside them!
