“Is your husband out of town this week?” she asked.

“Yes. All week. Is yours?” I responded. She nodded.

“Want to come over for dinner?” I asked.

Motherhood is hard enough on a good day. What with the constant multi-tasking, unexpected illnesses, endless pile of laundry, the refereeing of squabbles, teaching the same lessons over and over again, all while trying to keep up with the daily responsibilities and duties of life.

It’s even harder when you feel all alone.

When my kids were young, I had a couple of friends whose husbands also traveled for work or often worked late at night. Having these friends was a lifesaver, literally, because at the time, I was in the midst of post-partum depression aftershocks. We took turns making dinner for ourselves and all our kids. Sometimes we met at a park and then took the kids to their favorite taco place. And when the weeks were especially long, we got together multiple times.

Not only did we keep each other company during those years, but we also encouraged one another in the gospel. We reminded each other of what was true. We prayed with and for each other. We walked with one another through life’s trials and challenges.

In these little years, it can be easy to convince ourselves it's not practical to serve outside my home. But a vital part of raising our children to know and love the Lord is showing them that loving God means loving others.

So many of us entered motherhood feeling totally unequipped for the task, both emotionally and practically. Whether it was questions about how to soothe a gassy infant or questions about how to keep going on days with 3 hours of sleep, the need for helpers arrives swiftly at the doorstep. With all of these insecurities, and a real need for guidance, we quickly can find ourselves needing a mentor.

While that sounds good in theory, is it realistic to find a mentor in motherhood? And even if you find someone, how do you approach them and what should your expectations be? Here are 3 quick thoughts I have on engaging a mentor:

If you're anything like us, you've wondered, "How do I know what God has called our family to do in His name?" While the answer to that question is far more exhaustive than a short blog post, here are some thoughts that have helped us brainstorm:

When it comes to being a family "on mission" for the gospel, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparison. As we admire what God is doing through the lives of other families (who seem to never waiver in their good works, heart for the lost, or desire to sacrifice) we can chain ourselves to the iron ball of condemnation.

Without even realizing it, our mission becomes about living-up and impressing those around us with radical service INSTEAD of resting in the full righteousness Jesus purchased on our behalf.