Praying Through Pain as a Single Mom:
Editor’s Note: This article describes one woman’s journey through divorce and single parenting, but we know that individual situations vary and may warrant additional help. For further support, please reach out to a counselor, pastor, or other professional, and check out our Suffering & Loss Resources page.
I will never forget the day my husband told me he’d met someone else. I was stunned. After the shock of feeling hurt and rejected, I immediately thought about my children. Would they be crushed? How would they adjust to this crisis? Would it shatter their faith?
My husband moved out a month later and I watched my 10- and 13-year-old daughters question everything. I was already reeling and had no idea how to cope with the massive changes that soon followed.
I had been homeschooling our daughters, and so the limited time I had for myself almost evaporated. When I wasn’t schooling them, I needed to drive them to all their activities, make time for them as they processed their pain, and tend to the household chores and bills that my husband once did. It was hard to find time to spend with the Lord. Already staying up late and rising early, I had no time to read the Word in this season. All I could do was just pray throughout the day.
Soon I was a mess. I longed for comfort and wisdom, but didn’t know where to find it. So I got up extra early one morning, just to spend time with the Lord. That decision changed my life.
God met me in an unprecedented way and showed me truths I’d never noticed before. I was amazed at all the Lord could accomplish in that hour with him. He gave me strength to face the day. He gave me wisdom on what to do. He gave me joy just sitting in his presence. He gave me words to pray for my daughters and the assurance that he would answer.
God knew what I needed in parenting and provided it all. I needed grace to accept the things that were different in our lives. I needed wisdom to know what behavior to address and what to let go. I needed courage to make unpopular decisions, even when I felt weak and insecure. And most importantly, I wanted my daughters to turn to the Lord and not away.
My husband and I had done family devotionals with the girls, and I tried to resume what we did before, reading a short passage of Scripture and discussing what we saw. They were no longer interested. I was outnumbered and they were angry, so they mocked what I said, rolled their eyes when I asked questions, and impatiently tapped the table as I read. I would fight back the tears, wondering if they would ever be interested in the Bible or want to follow Christ.
Rather than constantly nagging, pointing out the things they needed to change, I began praying Scripture for them each morning. I made a card for each of my daughters incorporating specific verses I prayed daily. One of them had this: “Let ___ always be a truthful witness when she is giving a report about something that she has seen or done. Show her how much you detest lying lips and cause her to see the extravagant delight you take in her when she is truthful.”[1]
For my other daughter, one thing that I prayed was: “You see everything that ___ does. Open my eyes to see the things I need to see and know about ___ and give me the wisdom and courage to deal with the situation when she is caught doing wrong. Help her to see that when she does the right thing, there is nothing to fear—but when she takes the crooked path, let her sin find her out since it is against you.”[2]
Every morning, I would ask God to meet me. I would often begin with Psalm 119:25, saying, “My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word.” He would refresh me and give me supernatural wisdom just as he promised, saying, “Though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it’” (Isaiah 30:20-21). Countless times when I didn’t know how to handle a situation, God showed me what to do. As I kept praying my Scripture prayers for my daughters, I witnessed miraculous answers over time. My daughter who struggled with lying is now one of the most truthful people I know. And my other daughter told me that I inevitably discovered everything she’d done wrong, which made her stop deliberately disobeying me.
Both of my daughters had turned away from God when their father left, and both later came back to the Lord. It wasn’t a dramatic or overnight shift, but a gradual turning back to him. Now both would say that their faith is stronger because of what they went through. Questioning everything they believed strangely solidified their faith because they discovered for themselves the faithfulness of God.
Few of us would ever choose single parenting and, for many of us, it is our worst nightmare. Yet I learned, as we spend time with the Lord in his Word, he will meet us and make up for any inadequacy we feel.[3] He will give us wisdom, revive our spirits, and answer our prayers.[4] Change may not be instant, but it will come.[5]
The Lord is waiting to be gracious to us, and longs for us to call out to him.[6] When we do, we’ll see his strength and power pour through our lives, even when we feel weak and incapable.[7] He will supply all our needs [8] and equip us for single mothering, for he is a heavenly Father who will never fail.
[1] Proverbs 12:17, 22
[2] Proverbs 15:3; Proverbs 10:9; Numbers 32:23
[3] 2 Corinthians 12:9
[4] James 1:5; Psalm 71:20; Psalm 34:4
[5] Philippians 1:6
[6] Isaiah 30:18
[7] Isaiah 41:10; Isaiah 40:30-31
[8] Philippians 4:19
