Gifts of Grace When We Deserve an Empty Tree

I almost completely ruined last Christmas. 

Just like seemingly every year, the season had been busy. I’d spent weeks purchasing Christmas presents, preparing meals, and arranging a variety of holiday activities for my family. So, you can imagine my frustration as my children displayed behavior that could be labeled nothing short of terrible just two days before Christmas. I’m talking real Naughty List-level meltdowns, fights, and disrespect. I was about to lose it. Could they not see everything I had done to prepare for their upcoming holiday? In my frustration, I thought to myself, These kids don’t deserve any of their Christmas presents! This sparked a question: What would happen if I truly didn’t give them anything on Christmas? I had worked hard—really hard—to make their Christmas great, and they didn’t seem to appreciate any of it. 

Now, I have young children. They were acting their age. My thoughts were childish, and I knew it. I needed to be the adult—to take a deep breath and extend some grace. But grace can be a hard habit to build, and I didn’t grow up in a home where it was modeled. Maybe you can relate. Gratefully, we are not on our own in our struggles: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15). The Bible instructs us then that we can “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

As I sat with my frustrations, I reflected more intently on my kids outside of this moment in time. Somehow, even when they are tiny tyrants, I still love them more than life. Not only would my kids be devastated if they woke up to an empty tree, but I would be devastated too. I delight in giving them gifts as much as they love to open them because their presents are an outpouring of my love. 

Have you heard of someone actually giving their child coal for Christmas? Probably not. Mothers everywhere love to lavish their children with gifts according to their own ability, and I’ve never once heard someone say that it was because of their kids’ outstanding behavior. God does the same in his love for us. Even though our behavior falls short again and again, he gives us very good, undeserved gifts.[1]

Grace, God’s gift to us, is the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place. We didn’t do anything to deserve the birth of a Messiah who would rescue us and restore our relationship with God.[2] Our good behavior did not earn the abundant life Jesus offers.[3] And we didn’t parent well enough to be granted entrance into the kingdom where he sits enthroned.[4] 

In reality, it is the complete opposite. It is “by grace that [we] have been saved through faith”, given to us as “the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8). We can be deeply grateful that this gift is not given on our own merit because, in truth, we don’t have anything to offer.[5] We can be easily angered, ungrateful for the things we have, or bitter about our circumstances, much like what we might see in our children’s behavior. Yet, in contrast to our own mothering tendencies, God does not respond with harshness or irritation but bestows “grace upon grace” (John 1:16).

This means that it’s Christmas for us every single morning. Day after day, we awake to new mercies under the tree.[6] Can you imagine the sheer relief of a child the night before Christmas if someone came and erased all of their naughty list behavior and replaced it with a flawless record? It would be the easiest sleep of their life. What a weight lifted! This is the good news of the gospel. Even though all have sinned, we are given the gift of eternal life in Christ Jesus.[7] We belong on the naughty list, separated from God forever, and yet, we are spared. It is God’s living room full of presents to us when we deserve the barren tree.

So, this Christmas, as we watch our children furiously rip open their gifts and then inevitably tire of them much sooner than we’d anticipated, let us not think, “Good job, kiddo—you really earned your easel this year.” But instead, let us lift our eyes and remember the goodness and love of our Father, who gives us good gifts all year. Let us thank the Son who offered his own life to bring us into eternal fellowship. And let us depend more on his Spirit that indwells us with love, joy, and grace, regardless of whether we are naughty or nice.

[1] Romans 3:23-24; James 1:17

[2] Isaiah 9:6; Romans 5:8

[3] John 10:10

[4] Revelation 7:9-10

[5] Titus 3:5

[6] Lamentations 3:23 

[7] Romans 6:23