Praying the Word: When Your Kids Struggle to Obey

On the surface, prayer seems simple. It’s talking to God. But in practice, we may have a lot of questions. Am I doing this right? Is there a “right” way to do it? What am I supposed to say? Are there things I shouldn’t pray about? Or maybe we feel pretty comfortable with praying, but we struggle with getting bored or losing focus. 

Whatever our struggles with prayer, Scripture can be helpful. As Donald Whitney explains, “Praying the Bible isn’t complicated. Read through a few verses of Scripture, pause at the end of each phrase or verse, and pray about what the words suggest to you.” (You can read more from Donald Whitney about how to pray Scripture, in this article.)

In the Praying the Word series, we’ll take the idea of praying Scripture and make it practical by sharing a passage of Scripture, an example prayer, and some guided questions to help you make it your own. The example prayer might serve as a model, or you can use it as a prayer for yourself. As you give this a try, don’t worry if it feels awkward or you’re not sure what to say. Remember, the power of prayer doesn’t come from the words we say, but from the One who hears them. 

Example Scripture

Psalm 51:1–17

            [1] Have mercy on me, O God,

                        according to your steadfast love;

            according to your abundant mercy

                        blot out my transgressions.

            [2] Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

                        and cleanse me from my sin!

            [3] For I know my transgressions,

                        and my sin is ever before me.

            [4] Against you, you only, have I sinned

                        and done what is evil in your sight,

            so that you may be justified in your words

                        and blameless in your judgment.

            [5] Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,

                        and in sin did my mother conceive me.

            [6] Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,

                        and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

            [7] Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

                        wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

            [8] Let me hear joy and gladness;

                        let the bones that you have broken rejoice.

            [9] Hide your face from my sins,

                        and blot out all my iniquities.

            [10] Create in me a clean heart, O God,

                        and renew a right spirit within me.

            [11] Cast me not away from your presence,

                        and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

            [12] Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

                        and uphold me with a willing spirit.

            [13] Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

                        and sinners will return to you.

            [14] Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,

                        O God of my salvation,

                        and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.

            [15] O Lord, open my lips,

                        and my mouth will declare your praise.        

Example Prayer

Father, I praise you for your mercy and steadfast love. In Christ, you blot out our transgressions and cleanse us from our sins. I pray that my child would know their sin, that they would understand that disobeying mom and dad is also disobeying God. I pray they would realize their need for forgiveness and come to you. 

Please help me to know my own sin in how I may have mishandled their disobedience. Help me to remember that when my child disobeys me, they are fundamentally sinning against you. Their disobedience isn’t about me. Forgive me for how I’ve taken it personally and reacted harshly or impatiently. Help me to honestly consider my own heart toward my child’s struggles with obedience. Shine the light of your truth and teach me wisdom. 

Please also shine the light of your truth into my child’s heart. We are all sinners from birth, and my child is no different. They need heart change that only you can bring about. Draw my child to you in faith and repentance that they would know the joy of your salvation. 

Uphold me with a spirit that is willing to offer loving discipline over and over—no matter how many times they disobey—and give me wisdom to know how to handle each situation. Help me not only to discipline, but to disciple my child, teaching them your ways that they might turn to you. Make my life a model of joyful obedience. 

Instead of speaking complaints or unkind rebukes to my child about their disobedience, help my tongue to speak of your righteousness and declare your praise. Rather than dwelling on what my child has done wrong, help me to point them to our Savior, who has done everything right. Help me to parent with hope, aware of all I have been forgiven in Christ, and knowing that mercy is available for my child too. 

Make it Your Own

Praise God: What things in this Scripture passage give you reasons to praise God and thank him for who he is and what he’s doing? Give him both general and specific thanksgiving and come into his presence rejoicing.

Confess: What things do you need to tell God about how your heart or actions might veer (intentionally or unintentionally) toward self-reliance or even disobedience? Where have you trusted in your own wisdom or resisted his presence, commands, and care?

Share your Heart: What things do you need to tell the Lord from a place of concern and humility? What questions linger, what worries do you harbor, and what do you need to hand over to him?

Ask: Where do you need wisdom? What help and grace do you need? Let the Lord know where you are weak and what specific things you need, letting him have the final and perfect say in how those needs are met and prayers are answered.

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