Two Truths & a Lie About Family Devotions
When my oldest two children were little, we were invited to a family’s house for a meal after church one Sunday. This family were leaders in our church and life-long Christians. As a young, new believer, I was intimidated just to go to their house, but even more so when I learned they had family devotions around the table at the end of each meal. I pictured all of their children sitting quietly around the table, with their hands folded nicely in their laps, listening intently to their father read long passages in the Bible. I wasn’t very far off in my imaginings and observing this “perfect” family read the Bible together created two things in me—the thought that this is what “super-Christians” do and the simultaneous feeling of, “I could never do this.”
Truth: Family Devotions Can Be Fun
Does the idea of having family devotions conjure up similar images and expectations in your mind? Does it feel intimidating, like something only other, more spiritual families do? Or, have you tried to have family devotions, only to have it all blow up in your face? Your kids don’t act like the children in the scenario above, your spouse isn’t on board, or you lose it in the middle of trying to read the Bible because no one is listening as intently as you would like? Yes? Me too. Welcome to real life family devotions.
We set ourselves up for disappointment and discouragement when we have expectations of reverence, silence, and gratitude for every word pouring from our lips for thirty minutes or more. Setting good, healthy, and realistic expectations is part of setting your family devotion time up for success.
First of all, family devotions can be fun! Someone recently told me that they try to do their family devotions over dessert. The kids eat a bowl of ice cream while she or her husband read a short passage of scripture. Another friend has her kids lie on the floor and color while she reads. The point is, your kids don’t need to sit silently gazing up at you. Deuteronomy 6:7 tells us to teach our children about God “when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” So go on a walk, give them a popsicle, sit in the backyard...teach them that reading the Bible is enjoyable.
Truth: Family Devotions Will Bear Fruit
The truth of the matter is that inconsistent and imperfect time in God’s word is better than no time in God’s word. Even if you don’t finish all the verses you wanted to read; even if you send one child to time out in the middle of reading the Ten Commandments; even if you read one verse and decide it’s time to close in prayer—God’s Word will bear fruit. Because the power of God’s Word does not rest in you, your ability to hold the attention of squirmy children, or the depth of your theological insight. The power of God’s word resides in God himself. He is the one speaking. He is the one saving and convicting and feeding and nourishing. God’s Word is living and active because God is living and active. So open it, read it, and trust that he is working.
There is much fruit that is born when we read the word. The ultimate fruit that we all pray for is the fruit of salvation. Reading the word of God shows our need for a savior, then shows us who that savior is and how to come into relationship with him. Paul tells us in Romans that, “faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Rom. 10:17). So open it, read it, and trust that he’s working.
Even as we wait and pray for God to use his word to save, there is other fruit to see. God’s Word feeds and nourishes us,[1] strengthens, corrects, instructs, rebukes and trains us.[2] The Psalms tell us that “[God’s] word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Ps. 119:105). It illuminates and points our children in the right way—towards paths of righteousness. Because it is living and active, there is much fruit to be born as we open it, read it, and trust that God is working.
Lie: Family Devotions Have to Be Done the “Right Way”
Family devotions are not a formula; there is not one “right way” to do them. Do you think family devotions need to be at the dinner table? They don’t. Do you think your husband has to be leading them? He doesn’t. Do you think you need to be able to answer all the questions your kids might ask? You don’t. Do you think the devotions need to last more than 5 minutes? They don’t. Do you think they have to be every day at the same time? You guessed it...they don’t.
If you’re the only parent in the home or if your husband doesn’t want to lead, God’s word still speaks. If you need to have family devotions while the kids are in the bathtub, God’s word still speaks. If your family only gathers for family devotions twice a week, God’s word still speaks. According to Isaiah 55:11, his word will never return empty, “but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” God is faithful to his word. Open in, read it, and trust that he is working.
And, above all, know that God works both through us and in spite of us. We did not read the Bible as a family when my first two children were little. We read it sporadically when the next two were little. We only read it more consistently when we started homeschooling. Was God’s arm shortened by my lack? Not at all. But do I wish we had established the habit sooner. Absolutely. So, wherever you are in the process, pick up the Bible, open it, read it with your children, and know that God is at work in you, through you, and even in spite of you. It’s never too late.
[1] Deuteronomy 8:3
[2] 2 Timothy 3:16
