We Are Being Trained Up, Too
When we think about Christian parenting, a handful of Bible verses spring to mind, like this greatest hit: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).
Whenever I come across this verse, I instinctively think about all the effort I put into training up my kids, cradle through college. The parental privilege of being able to love, nurture, and instruct those under my care about everything—from ABC’s to the atonement—is weighty. So my tendency is to focus on the work in front of me more than on the nature of God’s work in me. Yet, our effort to train little ones is only part of the picture that makes up parenting. The reality is that God uses motherhood to train us moms up too.
Throughout the scriptures, there’s a beautiful theme of God training up his beloved children in Christ. Motherhood is one of the tools God uses to accomplish that growth in us. Not only is parenting a gift to those we serve; it is a gift to us as the Father trains us in the way we should go. Through motherhood, he teaches us to look to Christ and look more like Christ.
Trained to Look to Christ
As the saying goes, “You become what you behold.” We’re no different than our kids when it comes to this. We may teach them to look to Christ, but do we practice what we preach? What competes for our attention on a daily basis? Is it influencers, work, parenting blogs, to-do lists, TV shows, or someone we want to impress? These aren’t necessarily bad things. But it can be helpful to take a step back and examine what we look to (and place our hope in) to get us through each day. Whatever we are looking to is influencing what we are becoming.
The 19th-century preacher, Charles Spurgeon, wrote this about the One we ought to spend our days beholding: “Remember…look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author, and finisher of thy faith.”[1]
Under God’s parentage, there are thousands of built-in opportunities to behold Christ as we parent our own kids. Meals can remind us of the one who nourishes us with his word. Hugs can point us to Christ who comforts his people. Laundry can remind us of how he clothed us in his own righteousness.
Do you feel tired, inadequate, or weak, moms? Behold the sinless High Priest, Jesus, who sympathized with our weaknesses so that we could approach the throne of grace and receive mercy and help in times of need.[2] When we sin against our children, we can remember how Christ moved towards us in love when we least deserved it. Even suffering trains us to entrust ourselves to our Savior, who joyfully suffered on our behalf. And the ripening fruit in our little ones’ lives can train us to give thanks to him who caused the growth.
Everything in motherhood should draw the gaze of our hearts back to the word of God and to Christ, “the author and finisher of thy faith.” He alone is sufficient and in him we are satisfied.
Trained to Look More Like Christ
As we look to Christ and behold him in his word, we become like him. This is the goal and natural progression of God’s training course. Jesus said, “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher” (Luke 6:40). To lead our children well and train them in the faith, we need our Teacher to be training us so that we will be like him. And God uses motherhood to help us look more like Christ.
Throughout the New Testament, training is tied to godliness and righteousness.[3] Titus 2:12 explains, “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions.” This is what it means to “grow up in Christ.” Through motherhood, God’s grace trains me to renounce ungodliness becoming more like him. It teaches me to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and to selflessly love the little neighbors living in my home. It teaches me that obedience is required not only from my children but from all God’s children. It teaches me to live for God’s glory, especially in the many unseen, hidden moments of motherhood that require sacrifice and emptying oneself. It teaches me to value and need the local church more, not less. It teaches me the importance of being discipled and discipling. And motherhood teaches me what Elizabeth Elliot once said, “The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.” There are so many ways God uses motherhood to train me up into the likeness of his son.
As God’s beloved children we are being trained up. And motherhood is a glorious training ground that drives us back to the throne of God time and time again. His generous grace makes us fit for a better home. As we consider the myriad of ways we are training up our children, may we be reminded of all the indelible ways God is a faithful Father to us, his adopted ones. And as we behold Christ with unveiled faces, we will be transformed from one degree of glory to another.[4] Let’s live in such a way that when others see our lives, they will say, “Like father, like daughter.”
[1] Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, June 28, www.biblegateway.com/devotionals/morning-and-evening/2020/06/28.
[2] Hebrews 4:14–16
[3] 2 Timothy 3:16; 1 Timothy 4:8
[4] 2 Corinthians 3:16–18
