Fear Him More
By Emily Jensen
Introduction
Dear friend,
Motherhood offers no shortage of reasons to fear. I’ve experienced many of those myself! Just recently, I laid awake at midnight, recounting missed opportunities for prayer and discipleship, wondering if I wasn’t doing enough for education and skill development, thinking about potential losses in the future and disappointments from the past, feeling frustrated and mopey about things the kids had said or done, grumbling about my figure after five kids. My concerns carried over into the daytime, shadowing interactions and putting my temperament on edge. At times like this, it’s hard to think clearly about what my response to fear should be—not just as a concerned mom, but as a Christian one.
I’m learning that trusting God and giving my fears to him isn’t a one-time decision—it’s an ongoing posture and an outworking of my faith. I trust the Lord by continuing to pray, read Scripture, sing, give thanks, have fellowship with other believers, laugh, serve, and take the next step of obedience, even in hard and confusing times. I don’t pretend to have this “fear” thing down just yet, but I’m growing in my ability to recognize when my decisions or reactions are rooted in the wrong kind of fear.
At Risen Motherhood, we’re taking seven weeks to explore this topic in-depth through podcast episodes, articles, social media posts, and more. As we’ve explored the Scriptures, we see different types of fear, and not all of them are bad. First and foremost, God wants us to fear him—which means holding him in a position of awe and reverence, knowing who we are in relationship to him as a believer or unbeliever. When we fear God, we are humble—we listen to his commands and use wisdom in the world he’s created.
Then we have a second kind of fear, the good or legitimate kind. Fears can warn us (Are we living according to his commands?), tell us what we were created for (Are we concerned about legitimate needs?), and help us avoid danger. (Are we doing something unhealthy or putting our lives/the lives of others at risk?) This is a pretty broad category and one that takes discernment! But even these fears shouldn’t supersede our trust in the Lord.
Scripture also shows us that sometimes our fears aren’t rooted in God and his Word, but in our own distorted desires, a sinful fear. Sometimes good things (like wanting relationships, children, health, financial security, etc.) can become all-consuming or have too much control in our lives and actions. Our fear of missing out can drive us away from God as we manipulate our circumstances, fret, or disobey. Additionally, we can dwell on statistically unlikely fears or our fears can cause us to treat others with bitterness and hostility.
Finally, we know fear is also a biological and psychological reality that can require the help of trained counselors and doctors to understand and heal from. There are many aspects to the topic of fear, so we hope that you’ll do your own study as you engage the content in this series.
Most of us would benefit from taking time to pause and ponder this topic with the Lord, and I hope this five-day devotional can help you do just that. My aim is not to systematically cover the topic of fear, to answer all of your questions, or to give specific solutions, but to give you a chance to process some fresh thoughts about fear from the Bible. I hope these brief writings will help you consider your own fears and how you might prayerfully submit your life more fully to the Lord.
Each day includes a Bible passage, a devotional reading, a guided prayer, and questions for reflection. If you aren’t sure about the meaning of the Bible passage, read the surrounding text or look up a short commentary. This devotional can be completed in one long afternoon, a week of daily quiet moments, or spread out across several weeks. You can even gather a group of friends to discuss your responses together!
While this barely scratches the surface of all there is to think and know about fear, I hope this still serves you and spurs you on in your walk with God. Let’s fear him more.
Joyfully,
Emily
Before you read: We know that “fear” covers a wide variety of issues—some so lighthearted that we can easily brush them off, and some so disturbing that we can barely utter them to our closest friend. This devotion is aimed at the most common fears in motherhood—the things that cross our minds and motivate our daily actions. But due to the limitations of our knowledge and the brevity of this devotion, we don’t aim to address life’s most complex and sober terrors. As you read this, please keep in mind that some instances and experiences of fear may require professional counseling, pastoral care, or a medical doctor. If this devotional spurs on additional questions that you’re still wrestling with, please tell a trusted friend and seek help.
1: Thank God for Fear
Read - Psalm 19
Sometimes, the most loving thing a mom can do is shout. While we shouldn’t raise our voices about shoes on the floor, misplaced homework assignments, or embarrassing public outbursts—if our child is in danger, our voices should change. If our child runs toward a busy intersection, you bet we’re going to bellow out the word, “Stop!” We will warn the child with all we have, instilling an appropriate fear into their oblivious or even rebellious heart.
A mom can do this because she’s lived longer, she knows more, and she has authority. While the child sees a lego on the floor, shrugs, and shoves it into their mouth—mom sees the choking hazard. Asking the child to spit it out isn’t harsh, it’s helpful. When the child clicks around on every website link to find the next funny video—mom knows there is serious danger for both heart and mind lurking behind the wrong click. Taking away the device or setting up firm boundaries isn’t being unfairly restrictive—it’s trying to give them a life without bondange to violent or pornographic images.
From a mother’s point of view, it’s easy to nod along and say, “Absolutely, mom knows best!” But what about when we’re the child? Our Heavenly Father, who loves his children more than we can even understand, spends a lot of time warning us in his word, trying to instill the right kind of fear in our hearts. But do we listen? Or do we assume he’s being unfair, unkind, and restrictive?
He’s not just lived longer—he’s existed forever. He’s the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. He doesn’t just know more than us, he knows everything. Even the number of hairs on our heads! He’s not being unfair or unkind—he has authority and he wants us to know the dangers that lie outside of his will, his ways, his presence, and his purposes. He wants us to know that the wicked have no future and that walking in sin is more dangerous than sprinting into a busy intersection.
When we read the Bible, we can respond as we hope our own children do when we give them warnings. We can stop and turn to God with a heart ready to obey. His words are trustworthy, pure, righteous, and reliable. They can make us wise—showing us paths that lead to danger. They can leave our saddened hearts glad, our tired legs strong, and our frantic-minds quieted.
Because we’re unable to see and know all of the dangerous things in this life, we need the warnings of God’s word. We need to know what and who to fear in this life and the next. Not all fear is bad. In fact, fear of the Lord and obedience to his ways is just what we need, and that type of fear is something to be grateful for.
Pray:
Lord, help me to fear you and to believe that your words are true and trustworthy. Open my ears to hear, soften my heart to understand, and cause me to heed your warnings. I pray that you would keep me from intentional and unintentional sins today and remind me of your perfect wisdom, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Reflect:
As you think about life, what are you afraid of?
Are you scared of the things that God’s Word warns you about (hardening your heart toward him, unforgiveness, walking in unrepentant sin, etc.), or are you scared of worldly/temporal things (people not liking or agreeing with you, not being physically attractive, losing some personal freedom, etc.)?
In what areas of life might God be warning you about the path that you’re on or the choices you’re making? How will you respond to those warnings?
2: Fixated on Fear
Read - Isaiah 26:3–4
Have you ever seen a child standing tippy-toes on a chair leaning over the counter or up to a high shelf? The moment hangs in the air as you leap to reinforce the chair before they slip face-first and need stitches. They are so fixated on getting the chocolate chips or the book or the favorite toy that they depend on something that won’t hold. In their quest for a good thing, they inadvertently put themselves in danger.
As moms, we’re not so different. We want good things and we reach for them with confidence, wanting our children to be safe, healthy, and well-educated. We hope to have a good reputation among other moms in our church or community. We want to have insight into our children’s lives—their friends and conversations—so we can offer help and wisdom. But what if our quest for those good things starts to consume us and become the primary focus of our energy, resources, and attention? When the quick Google search for helpful medical information spirals into an hours-long heart-palpitating deep-dive into obscure syndromes? When we fixate too much on our fears, we lean on things that can’t hold us.
We don’t need a wobbly chair, we need the Rock. We don’t need more hours spent on Google, we need a mind kept at perfect peace by the Lord. But how?
In Isaiah’s day, God’s people had many political, personal, and religious fears to fixate on. Things were not going well for them and even though they longed for restoration, they didn’t run to the one true God. Their focus on worldly solutions and worship of false gods put them in captivity and in the path of destruction. Isaiah not only warned God’s people of coming judgement, but he encouraged them to focus on God’s sovereignty and comfort.
Just as Isaiah prophesied, our perfect peace came when God’s Servant became our Savior. Jesus Christ is the one we look to for righteousness, restoration, and peace. He is our rock and foundation as we look to him.
This doesn’t mean we stop evaluating risks or locking our doors at night. It doesn’t mean we foolishly ignore dangers in this life or stop asking friends for counsel and advice. It doesn’t mean we’ll never experience fear or anxiety again. But it does mean that our fears and concerns shouldn’t take the primary focus in our hearts and minds—instead we lean securely on Jesus through prayer, giving our fears to him.
Let’s be moms who fixate on God’s steadfast love and faithfulness. In him, our souls are safe.
Pray:
Lord, help me to look to you at all times. Be the biggest and best thought in my heart and mind. When worries, fears, and concerns turn themselves over and over again in my mind, would I be able to turn them over to you. I ask that you would keep me in perfect peace through your son, Jesus Christ, as I wait for wisdom that only you can give.
Reflect:
What types of fears and concerns do you have the tendency to fixate on? How does fixation manifest itself in your life?
What does it look like to fix your eyes on Jesus? How are you doing that in your daily life and what step can you take to spend more time with him?
When it comes to your fears and concerns, what are you hoping for help and salvation in those areas? Even if your fears came true, how would God still be your Rock and firm foundation?
3: The Scariest Thing
Read - Romans 10:9–13
Moms are familiar with fear. At night we roll around in bed, our eyes open and pick out the subtle glows in the room. We wonder if we heard an intruder crack open a door or a child fall out of bed or if we don’t hear enough rustling from the room next door. We rehearse our many concerns—the doctor’s appointment, the strange comment, the tense conversation, the looming credit card bill—and our thoughts threaten to keep us up all night. We’re well-acquainted with life’s risks.
But in the night or in the day, at the park or in the pickup line, on the way to work or waiting for dinner to come out of the oven, we rarely ponder the scariest thing that could ever happen to us—standing unrighteously before the judgement seat of God, receiving our due penalty—eternal punishment for our sin. In fact, wherever possible, our thoughts take a wide detour around this future moment (a moment that’s more sure to come than many of our far-off fears).
It is scary to think about losing the good gifts God has given us in this life—a child, a marriage, a home, a good name. These things are difficult and oftentimes devastating results of the fall. But are they the biggest threat we face? What is the scariest thing that could ever happen to us?
Jesus tells us the correct order of our concerns. A right fear of the Lord puts every other fear into perspective. Fear of the Lord says, “First things first.” And the first thing we must settle, if we’re going to have life abundant, is the question of our death. How will we be found righteous and clean before the throne of a holy God? Who will we follow and serve? What will save us from the condemnation of hell?
If this sounds like a little much for a random weekday, it’s not. Now is the moment to settle this and accept the gracious gift, that God has provided full-proof protection from what should be our deepest fear. All we need to do is turn from our sin and believe in Christ. We simply receive the gift of grace.
And for those of us who have already trusted Christ, this security propels us to a life of great courage. When the greatest thing we have to fear loses its power over us, we’re able to boldly and courageously live for Christ today.
Settling the scariest thing doesn’t mean we’re completely free from nights awake in bed, but it does connect us to our Protector. If he’s given us his Son and saved us from death, if he’s planning to keep us safe forever and wipe away every tear, then surely we can take our concerns to him today. We can cast every care on him, because we have proof that he cares for us. So much that he’s going to cause us to rise again and be at rest with him forever.
Pray:
Lord, I put my hope in your gift of righteousness. I confess that Jesus is Lord and believe that because of him, I won’t be put to shame on the day of judgement, but will be saved. Help this reality give me confidence and joy today as I face hard things. Would I know your protection and goodness in the midst of scary circumstances.
Reflect:
What concerns keep you up at night? Why do those things worry you so much?
How will you endure your coming judgement? If you haven’t placed your faith in Christ, don’t delay. Pray and trust him right now!
How has God already shown his love and protection for you in Christ? What does it look like to give your other fears and concerns to him today?
4: He’s on Your Side
Read - Psalm 119:49–50
A mother’s comfort often comes in the form of an embrace. When a child faces a fear or shares a deep insecurity, she kneels down, wrapping her arms around their shoulders. Her tight squeeze and lowered posture communicates, “Mom loves you. Mom is with you.” With this gesture, the child can have peace again. Their circumstances might not change, but they are also not alone. Their stronger, wiser, caring parent is by their side.
We often don’t think of the nativity scene as equal to a parental hug, but it should be a similar comfort to God’s children. In the midst of our sin, fear, and shame, Christ came down. “He emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity.” (Phil. 2:7, CSB) Figuratively, he came to our side—stooping low to make a way for us to be with him forever, through his atoning death and resurrection. After he rose again, he sent us a Helper, the Holy Spirit. All of this culminates into a promise of life—that through Christ, we might enter God’s presence and be by his side forever.
This promise is the squeeze that comforts our soul in times of trouble. His help and presence, both now and forever, gives us hope in the face of fear. God doesn’t wrap us in a physical embrace, but he holds us securely through the Son. Through Christ, we can know that God is on and by our side.
For the mom wading through tough conversations with a hard-hearted child—God is with you. For the mom who struggles as she fits-in less and less with her friends—God is with you. For the mom who entrusts her child into the care of others while she’s at work—God is with you. For the mom trying to love with long-suffering through an ailing marriage—God is with you.
God is our strength and he is by our side. This doesn’t mean that we stop walking or acting or making decisions—but that we do it as we lean into the Father’s arms. We talk with God and ask him to lead us all the way.
Fears and trials will come, but our Heavenly Father is with us.
Pray:
Lord, thank you for fulfilling every promise you make, especially your promise to defeat evil and give your children everlasting life. Give me a fresh and deeper awareness of your love for me and presence in my life, today. Make me a woman of prayer who is quick to ask you for help and wisdom in every situation.
Reflect:
In what areas of life do you need God’s guidance and wisdom? Take a few minutes to talk to him about those things now.
What promises of God can bring you comfort in your current situation?
What might it look like for you to face your current circumstances with the courage that God is on your side? How might you be more bold or peaceful?
5: The Last Laugh
Read - Proverbs 31:25, 1 Peter 3:6
There’s something powerful about a protagonist’s smile. Usually around the climax or falling action of a great redemptive story, there comes a point when the main character or hero doles a mortal blow to the villain—but the villain doesn’t know it yet. The villain still approaches with their sinister speech, laughing maniacally thinking they’ve won, but the hero knows something he doesn’t—and he cracks a smile. Suddenly the villain loses his footing and falls off a cliff or sees all of his plans laid to waste and reversed into the hero’s favor. The villain laughed, but the protagonist got the last one.
When it comes to our fears and our foes, it’s hard to imagine ourselves laughing. There is a sober and serious nature to the fear of losing personal or religious freedoms, a predictable paycheck, or our health as we care for our children. After all, our personal struggle with sin and suffering in life is a terrible reality—the fall isn’t funny.
But what if we knew that in an ultimate way, our fears weren’t that frightening? What if the snake had no fangs, the dragon was about to meet his destruction, and the enemy’s loss was sure? What if we believe that because of Christ, death had no sting and actually meant more life? Could we crack a smile? Might we even be able to laugh in the face of hard and terrifying things?
If we are moms who have faith in the ultimate hero, Jesus Christ, and we believe in his ultimate victory, then laughter can become part of our repertoire. We can stare with soberness, but also crack a smile. We can laugh through tears, smile at the end of a lament, and have light hearts in dark times.
Our laughter is a witness to the world, that Christ gets the last laugh. Our ability to bring appropriate levity to fearful times means there is greater hope. We don’t want to crush hurting people with an ill-timed joke and there are often long seasons for tears before we’re ready to remember they will be wiped away. But as someone reminded me recently—don’t just look at the dark narrative, the painful results of the fall, but also resolve to see the redemptive one, the many gifts of God in a given situation. As we recount even his smallest act of faithfulness, we can bask in the light. And in some cases, laughing at the future is also a great way to remind ourselves and others that our Rescuer will soon declare victory.
The villain might be laughing, but he’s about to meet his end. Take heart and crack a smile.
Prayer:
Lord, I praise you because you have the victory and I don’t have to fear evil. Unburden my heart today and help me to see the long-term and lighter reality of my fears and trials. Give me faith that you will make all things right in the end and execute your perfect judgement. Make me a woman who is strong because she finds strength in Christ.
Reflect:
Are you a woman who exudes a fitting level of lightness, even in the midst of tough situations? Give examples.
In what situations would you like to have more eternal perspective and levity? Pray for God to give you that in a specific situation today.
How can a woman (spiritually speaking) be clothed in strength and dignity? How does your faith in Christ give you security in something you’re worried about today?