Christ’s Comfort When Our Children Suffer
I lay awake one night, wondering, “Do you know, God, what it is to grieve over a child?” One of my children had been struggling with deep anxiety, and while I felt a sense of helplessness, I also felt profound sadness. My mind tallied up other parents feeling the pressing pangs of grief while walking alongside suffering children—whether from an eating disorder, a cancer diagnosis, an identity crisis, or bullying at school.
I’ve always found great comfort in the doctrine of the incarnation, knowing that the Creator of the world can identify with our humanity. Jesus knows what it is to grow in understanding, he felt pain and experienced sickness, and he even wept over the death of a friend.[1] He was also “despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3).
Yet still, the questions circled: “Do you understand the depth of this pain, God? Do you know what it is to grieve for a child?”
The Comfort of Christ’s Humanity
Recently, I’ve been committing Philippians 2:5-11 to memory. These verses, often called the “Christ Hymn,” are beautiful and comforting. They point us to the glory and majesty of Jesus but also his humility in becoming man. That night in my bed, two verses from the passage came immediately to mind. The first is verse 8: “And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
Jesus sovereignly humbled himself by taking on human form fully and completely. In doing so, he committed to dying a humiliating and excruciating death on a cross for us. In the moments before his death, in the garden of Gethsemane, we see his humanity in full. Jesus kneels and prays, asking his Father, “If You are willing, remove this cup from me” (Luke 22:42).
Standing was the common posture for prayer in ancient times, so Jesus’s kneeling shows the agony involved in these moments. He begs the question of his Father, “Is there any other way?” Bearing the impending judgment from God the Father caused such anxiety that drops of blood appeared on the forehead of God the Son. Theologian Charles Spurgeon says: “I am never afraid of exaggeration, when I speak of what my Lord endured. All hell was distilled into that cup, of which our God and Savior Jesus Christ was made to drink.”[2]
While aspects of the Trinity will always remain a mystery, we can know that the Father heard this grief-filled prayer of his Son. Yet Christ’s suffering was the appointed means of carrying our sorrows—for all eternity. God the Father, in his redeeming love, sent Jesus to be crucified, pouring out his wrath on his Son that we might be made righteous before him, and Jesus, in love beyond comprehension, resolved to incur that wrath, laying down his life for you and for me.
Our Father knows, in ways beyond what we will ever have to experience, what it is to see his most beloved child suffer—and even die. So we can put our heavy burden for our children at the foot of the cross and cling to him who understands this pain and who will never withdraw his tender grip.
The Surety of Christ’s Deity
After shedding light on his humanity, the very next verses in the Christ Hymn point to Jesus’s majesty and glory: “Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Philippians 2:9-11).
Jesus’s deity provides hope that our suffering in this life is not in vain. He is the God who is above all, and in all, and through all[3], the One who sovereignly dictates every single step of our lives. God formed each one of our children,[4] and, in ways we can’t understand, “comes to the bones in the womb” (Ecclesiastes 11:5). He creates with purpose and creativity, taking delight in what he has made and keeping watch over every detail without slumbering or sleeping—aware even of every hair on our children’s heads.[5]
And not only did God create their physical being, but he is the author of our children’s stories too and holds each day in his hand. Their stories are beautifully written by One who loves his children infinitely more than we ever could as their parents.[6] Though pages may be filled with seasons of trials and distress, the grand story of their lives is perfectly and lovingly penned. As the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, we can trust and not doubt in his ability to work out even the most perplexing circumstances for our good and for his glory.[7]
We can rest as moms in the sure grip of Jesus, the One who knows the pains of humanity and sympathizes with our grief over a child’s struggle. And we can delight in him who is wholly trustworthy as divine King over all things—including the trials in our children’s journeys.
[1] John 11:35
[2] Quoted in https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/luke-22/
[3] Ephesians 4:6
[4] Psalm 139:13-14
[5] Genesis 1:27; Psalm 121:3-4; Zephaniah 3:17; Luke 12:7
[6] Romans 8:38-39
[7] Romans 8:28
