Real vs. Ideal: Family Discipleship with a Nontraditional Schedule

Of the three colors that code our family calendar, black—the color that marks my husband’s twenty-four-hour shifts as a firefighter—is the one I like the least. He works a typical firefighter schedule with twenty-four hours on, twenty-four hours off, and then off for a few days in a row. The green and red days, his “off” times when the other shifts work, allow us the freedom to plan what we want and give me space to work. Childcare is a breeze when both of us lend a hand! But the inevitable wrench of an overtime shift on a green or red day strains both the time I felt I could spend on pursuits outside of my work and our ideal family time. That Bible study I want to attend? Can’t. That family workshop at our church? Nope. I know we must remain flexible with our family time, but it’s easy to grow resentful.

I dream of idyllic, consistent moments when our family would gather to study Scripture, attend church together, or even be in a consistent Bible study. In this perfect world, my husband and I would do all the church events, studies, etc.—together. And because of consistency and routine, my calm, obedient, and observant children would then ask deep theological questions about our faith, growing into incredible believers who share the gospel far and wide! 

The reality, however, is very different—especially on the nights my husband works. My older children need lunches packed for school, a tired toddler thrashes on the floor in his pajamas, and I need to parent solo through the exhaustion. Maybe I give a brief word of encouragement to my children or a rushed prayer. Yet still, our family’s spiritual life feels hurried—am I doing this right? What will this look like in the future?

On these days, this is the truth I preach to myself: God numbers our days and is sovereign over them.[1] Even with difficult schedules, we can bring God glory if we ask him to “establish the work of our hands,” as Psalm 90 reminds us. We can let go of our ideals and embrace the beauty of our circumstances. We can rest and rejoice in every situation God gifts us because he is with us. As we study the Word, we can discover our schedules are a blessing for our families’ spiritual growth, no matter how they might look.

God Is with Us in Our Circumstances

The quintessential family schedule is an admirable aspiration—but overemphasizing that can impede us from appreciating our current circumstances. Think of Noah in Genesis 6—his situation proved difficult. He lived in a world where people focused heavily on themselves instead of spending time with God. Despite this, Noah thrived in his situation and walked with God.[2] Noah placed his full trust in God and remembered that, no matter what, God would be with him.

We, too, can struggle with what our situation allows versus our ideals. The conflict between our real and ideal versions of walking with the Lord may stem from listening to what our culture—even our church culture—dictates. We can desire good, established routines like family devotions, prayer, and personal quiet times. We can sign up for Bible studies, women’s gatherings, or more, only to ultimately say no to these events because our schedule simply doesn’t allow them. 

These spiritual disciplines might look different for us than what we see on Instagram or what we hear from someone in another circumstance. Yet we can still be faithful in the ordinary moments: during a child’s tantrum, in conversation with our spouse, or in the middle of writing a work email. Spiritual practices as a family aren’t limited to quiet times in the Word or structured church events we attend together—they also involve ordinary faithfulness and simple trust that the Lord is with us in every moment.

Jesus Meets Us Where We Are

When Jesus began his ministry in Mark 1, he worked in the active moments of time. Mark shows Jesus meeting people amid busy schedules full of mundane tasks—when they were fishing on the lake, lying in bed sick, or working at everyday jobs like collecting taxes or serving in the military. People seeking Christ at that time did not wait around for a green or red non-overtime day to soak in the Word. These faithful people looked for Jesus during their daily challenges and schedules.

Work, school, chores, and other activities inevitably fill our time—and it is honorable and good to do them![3] However, even with our nontraditional schedules, there is tension between our daily activities and the call to meet with our God. We can emulate Jesus by prioritizing spiritual disciplines amid our chaotic schedules. It may mean our family devotionals are broken apart throughout the day or done on the go. Similarly, prayer routines can be established with few words or quick moments—when any need arises. It’s also possible to choose a Bible study that our family members do at separate times and then later discuss together. Just as Jesus met people during their everyday tasks, we can commune with him amid the red, green, and black boxes in our calendar.

Grace Meets Our Schedules

Our seasons with haphazard schedules and conflicting ideals on family time will not last forever. Our children will grow up, and jobs will shift. But in the here-and-now, we may need to be creative in weaving in rhythms of grace. Asking God in earnest prayer for his guidance and seeking a friend to walk alongside us are great places to begin.

In our current season as a first responder family, we memorize a verse together and then challenge one another to see if we’ve learned it. We also listen to Scripture in the car and stop what we’re doing to pray for one another when prayer is needed. Our church community also steps in by asking how we are, praying for us, and cultivating relationships with us. For my husband specifically, if he’s unable to call before bedtime when he’s working, he may ask for our children’s prayer requests the next day. Maybe we miss an opportunity to grow together spiritually, but grace can meet us the next day. 

The beauty of our circumstances is that God is with us at every moment. While we may not know what happens tomorrow, God is in it with us today and in the future. Knowing God delights in our ordinary activities—even if they seem messy or frenzied—is a comfort. We have a precious opportunity to seek God amid our circumstances and pursue intentional spiritual growth. One day, we will no longer fight to commune with God, and we can rest in that very sure hope.[4] For now, we can find gratitude and grace in our current daily rhythms, knowing God walks every step along the way with us.

[1] Psalm 90:12

[2] Genesis 6:9

[3] Ecclesiastes 3:22

[4] Hebrews 6:18-20