We can help shoulder the burdens of sisters married to unbelieving husbands by coming alongside to pray, befriend, disciple, and love.

No matter how wonderful our marriage may be, our deepest need for connection can only be satisfied in the Lord.

As a mom of two under two, I’m pretty much always tired, which means I pretty much always have a 'good' reason to not invest in my marriage. In fact, if there was ever a time where I felt like I had every right to reject my husband’s advances, it’s now.

But feelings do not determine truth, do they?

The reality is that God designed marriage to mirror his relationship with his church. And just like we can’t take a break from God without our spiritual health declining, we can’t take a break from our spouse without it impacting the health of our marriage.

Everything is from him, to him, and through him—even marital intimacy. So, the path to marital closeness is through the One who created it in the first place. Which makes sense, because another word for intimacy is closeness.

Sex becomes more beautiful with this in mind, offering a glimpse of the glorious oneness between Christ and his bride, a unity that comes from preferring the good of another over yourself.

When I don’t feel up to pursuing intimacy with my husband, I look to the One who came not to be served but to serve and give his life for many. When everything in me is exhausted, I turn to my humble, self-sacrificing King in prayer, knowing that his wisdom in marriage is trustworthy.

God promises to work in us both for his own good pleasure, which means he is my greatest ally in cultivating rich intimacy in my marriage.

The truth is we’re both exhausted. We look forward to days when it won’t take a week to get through a movie, when giving up sleep to be with each other doesn’t feel like such a hard sacrifice, but we’re also thankful for the way this season challenges, stretches, and grows our love for one another.

Our challenge is to steal moments to express that love in the marriage bed."

RM note: Sexual intimacy in marriage is a gift from God, but it's also a very sensitive topic. While many women relate to normal feelings of tiredness that make intimacy challenging, there are many struggling with deeper issues of sexual brokenness. If this post triggers deeper concerns, consider talking to an older couple, a biblical counselor, or a doctor for help.

I’ve never felt a joy quite like becoming a mom. Parenthood has brought out so much of the best of us.

And, yes, some of the worst too. From the I’ve-never-felt-this-consistently-tired-in-my-life fatigue; to transitioning to one income; to (not) figuring out sleep routines; to anxiety and feelings of inadequacy; we’ve had our share of marital strife since becoming parents...
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I must remember that God’s overarching purpose for my life is to prepare me for an eternity with him by making me more like Christ...This means marriage isn’t about my spouse completing me, living our best life now, or sweet tax breaks. Our main goal as husband and wife is to help prepare each other to see Jesus...

Like me, you will fail. You’ll feel fatigued. You’ll let your spouse down one way or another. You’ll wonder if grace has run out. In those moments, I pray you remember: “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young” (Is. 40:11).

Your Savior is Greater. His grace is a bottomless ocean. Keep walking with him. He is gently leading you. He will see you through.