Ep. 144 || Boxes & Moving Trucks: Enduring Transitions with Grace Transcript
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Emily: Let’s jump into today’s show! We’re talking about moving, which under a broader category is discussing a big season of transition. Transitions are something really challenging with little ones. Whether it’s adding another child in the family, changing jobs, or going back to school—there are a ton of different life transitions. Because it is such a big topic for moms, we’ve recorded several different episodes related to this, and we included a whole chapter in our book about transitions.
Laura: That’s right! We know these are really hard times. Moving is a really difficult one. If you’re going through a different transition than moving, head over to our show notes to find more topics we’ve recorded.
Okay, back to moving! This is one transition both Emily and I have experienced in our lives. I counted it up for the show, and I’ve moved four times with little children. Emily?
Emily: Wow, that’s crazy. I’ve moved one time with little ones—from one part of town to another part of town. It’s amazing how something that may only technically take 12 hours or two days—depending on how great your moving crew is—actually feels like it consumes a year or two of your life. From thinking about moving to making that decision and starting plans, all the way to feeling like you’re settled, you know people, your routines are established; it can feel like a big season.
Laura: I lived in temporary housing two times. One for two months, and one for a full year. That shows you the breadth of how much they change from one to another. I had all cross-state moves, so Emily and I had different experiences that I think will play well for this show. There are so many reasons you might be moving or differences in how you might be feeling. I know there were times when I was really excited to move and times when I wasn’t excited. Maybe for you, it’s something you’ve been building towards like being a new missionary, church planter; or your husband’s finally gotten that new job or you’re moving near family. Maybe it’s the other way around; you’re not as excited. It’s a great job opportunity for your husband, but you’re leaving friends and family. Maybe you’re scared about where you’re headed. You’re on the same page with your husband, but this isn’t necessarily what you wanted or what you had in mind.
Emily: In addition to the reasons for moving making it hard or challenging, the ages and stages of your kids matter. I was pregnant when we were moving, so that affects how you can lift boxes and how hard it is to pack or unpack. If you have toddlers running around, they’re pulling out your kitchen utensils as fast as you’re putting them in. Maybe you feel tired, and you’re trying to figure out how to get to the DMV in between naps with the baby to do all the paperwork. If your kids are young, they might not understand, but they’re still very impacted. Their attitudes may not be good, or they’re cranky, or their schedules are off. I think ages and stages of kids can make a big impact.
Laura: The culture of where you’re moving to matters. I moved from Minneapolis to Chicago, and I’d never heard of any of the grocery stores. I didn’t know where to get groceries! I wondered which one was best. I could obviously figure it out, but when it’s your hometown and house, you know where to find groceries. It was a hard thing for me to feel like I didn’t know where to buy food. For many of you, it’s on a way larger scale; the grocery store is small potatoes, but you’re in a new culture. No matter what, there’s an element of getting used to a new town and that can change how you feel. When I moved back home to Iowa, I knew my way around. So that part wasn’t as big of a deal for me; I was familiar with the town.
Emily: All that to say, there are a ton of factors in this. We want to process what the gospel means for us as mom when we’re in a season of moving. Whether you’re on the front end where you and your husband are beginning to talk about a move, or you moved six months ago and you’re still feeling the after effects—how can we still experience joy, and see God’s goodness and plan in the midst of this season?
Laura: It’s fascinating to look at the creation account and see immediately after God created a home for his people and the fall happened, Adam and Eve had to move. If that doesn’t show you that moving is part of the fall… [Laughter]...having to leave, be transient, be unable to plant roots or stay where God originally created them to be. Right after they sinned and disobeyed God’s rule, they had to move east of Eden. That’s super interesting to look at. But God didn’t leave them without hope in that move, which we’ll talk about.
Emily: I think what we see is God had a plan. He knew the final home of his people. Even though Adam and Eve couldn’t see the outcome, that doesn’t mean he didn’t have a purpose for them. We have a lot of scriptures that tell us the Word was with God in the beginning; God already had a plan for the salvation of his people. He already had a plan to conquer the enemy and, ultimately, bring his people home. With that hope, we see his mercy. God loved them, cared about them, and had compassion on them. He didn’t send them out unequipped or without hope and help. I think that’s true for us as well.
Laura: For some application points: it’s okay for moving to be really hard. I’m sure it was really hard for Adam and Eve to walk out of Eden. What does it say in Genesis 3, Emily? God thrust them out of Eden. It sounds like God almost banished them; he had to get them out of Eden and they didn’t want to go. That can happen for many of us, even if it’s a move we’re really excited to take. The actual act of moving is really hard, so we shouldn’t be surprised that moving, and all it entails, is difficult.
So, you can talk to your kids: affirm that their feelings are valid, especially if they’re struggling with the move. Maybe they don’t have words yet, but you can affirm what they’re feeling inside or help them articulate what they’re feeling inside.
You can set the tone that this is hard. You can acknowledge that fact and then pray, asking God for provision, patience, or even to tell him thank-you for the moving boxes, packing tape, and all those things God gives.
Emily: Another thing that helped me in our move is this next point: the reality that God is in control. He’s not caught off guard by where we are or where we’re going. He’s able to provide for us and prepare a place for us wherever we’re moving to. That will ultimately grow and prepare us for our ultimate home: heaven. I know as we were lining up the walls with moving boxes and our kids were sometimes melting down in tears because they didn’t understand why we were driving back and forth to this new home, I needed to say to myself that this was not unplanned chaos in our lives or throw-away time. God was in control of that and had a plan for us. Part of his plan for us was to be in transition. Even though it didn’t feel good, we could trust that he could provide grace for us and grow us.
Laura: It’s interesting to look throughout the Bible and see God didn’t stop with one move. It wasn’t only Adam and Eve moving. In fact, it’s a huge theme throughout the whole Bible. Everyone is on the move. [Laughter] You see that Israel lived in tents while they waited on the Promised Land. Look at the maps in your Bible! You’ll see everybody is moving all around. Even Jesus says, “I have nowhere to lay my head.” For a few years of his life, he spent time moving around in ministry. He was constantly on the move. We see this is a common thing for God’s people.
Emily: I think an application for us is to be cautious that we’re not idolizing our forever home or thinking there’s this place we’re going to arrive to and never have to get up community, or change, or be uncomfortable again. We always ought to be open to God’s leading, and be content and joyful right where we’re at in whatever type of home or season he has us in today. So, how can you thank God for the home he’s given you today instead of hoping for the next season or being so content that you’re hands are clutched close against the idea of him moving your family elsewhere? I know that’s something my husband and I have to remind ourselves of. We found this, not perfect but great, place to live and we built our home there and felt like we have a vision of our kids growing up there and our grandkids coming there. So we have to be cautious to know our hearts are not wrapped up in this earthly home but in a heavenly home. All of our possessions or whatever life we’re in is given to us for a moment; it’s not guaranteed. Our house could burn down tomorrow, and we’d have to trust the Lord in that. It’s good to have those heart checks every now and then.
Laura: Yeah, I never thought I’d move originally. I remember when we first discussed moving out of state—I thought we’d move out of that home—I felt so discouraged by it. So those are really good words, Emily.
Another thing to take note of is God uses the moves of his people to shape and grow them. He did so much work as they wandered and journeyed from place to place. He revealed sin—whining, grumbling, moaning, complaining—in the things they did that we also do. God uses those hard circumstances to show where we grip too tightly to comforts or things we love about where we live. I think that’s something to see. It’s very promising. When I moved to Chicago, the Lord stripped all of my worldly comforts. I felt like I had no friendships, no church home, and my husband worked so much, I felt isolated. I had a two-month old baby, and we lived in a two bedroom apartment for a couple of months while renovating a house. It was a very hard season for me. But looking back, I see God did immense heart work at that time. In the moment, I couldn’t see it. When I stepped back from it—maybe six, eight, or 12 months later—I saw God really refined me; particularly with the sin of anger or my deep desire to be seen in relationship. I’m grateful he put me through that. Did it stink? Yes. But, on the other side, I’m so glad the Lord used it in my life.
Emily: So on this side of redemption, what’s encouraging is we belong to this new people group. Like we keep saying, our home isn’t really here on earth. It’s neat that Jesus says he’s going to prepare a place for us in his Father’s house. There’s a house we’re moving to! This is where we look forward to living: the new heavens and the new earth where we’ll dwell with God. This was his plan all along. In order to do that, he has to cover us through the shedding of blood—just like he did for Adam and Eve. He makes that provision for us in Christ. We trust in that in order to be with him.
What that means for us—as moms—is that wherever we live, it’s important we’re investing ourselves in things that are eternal: the Church, the Word, people and relationships, connecting with other believers. Our true citizenship and family are in the people of God. It’s not in the community we live in today. Having that greater citizenship allows us to move around from place to place with joy while we’re here on earth.
Laura: Amen. Get involved in your local church. We can’t say that enough.
Another takeaway is the idea that when you’re moving, you’re often engrossed on temporal things. During our moves, I felt super materialistic or superficial, but they were important things. What couch will we put in the living room? What backsplash should we have? Those are real questions and real things to deal with. But there’s also this part of remembering our eternal home that reminds us that our physical, earthly home is not our final resting place or final home. While we’re getting settled, we want to remember we can use whatever place God has given us for today to serve him. We don’t have to grumble about not knowing where everything is or making all these apologies to somebody for not having the right furniture. We don’t need to say people can’t come over until we have the house perfectly furnished—because you know that takes at least 8-12 months. [Laughter] We want to encourage you if you’re in that transition process or if you know you’re moving and think it doesn’t matter what you do, it does matter. Where God currently has you, live well. We want to flourish and love others well, using whatever God has placed in front of us in that moment to show his glory to other people. We want to encourage you from all of this that this is a great time—even if you’re moving—to ask God how you can use all he’s given you today to serve and glorify him. That looks different in different seasons, but the question is still valid.
Emily: Just to build on that idea of mundane things: knowing we have a forever home and being focused on people, relationships, and service to God, frees us to make a decision about the backsplash and move on. Or to focus on cleaning up the house for a greater purpose. It’s neat God allows us to live with joy in the temporary, no matter what’s going on with our move.
If you want to find out move, head to our show notes at risenmotherhood.com. We’re going to have resources there! You can also find out more about our upcoming shop or find more on social media @risenmotherhood on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Thanks for joining us! We hope no matter where you are in the moving process that you have a great day! [Laughter]
Laura: Yes! Today! Focus on today. Bye, guys!