Ep. 157 || The Little Years Are Not the Lost Years Transcript
This transcript has been edited for clarity.
Emily: Hey friends, Emily here. Maybe you’ve recently had a similar experience to the one I had this morning. After setting my alarm to wake up early for time to read the word and pray in silence with my hot coffee, things didn’t go as planned. We had two kids wake in the night—one that woke up every hour crying. So this morning, instead of waking up to my alarm clock, I was woken up by a child who I pulled out of their crib into my coveted “quiet time” space. Instead of being cozy in my favorite spot, I sat in a mostly-dark living room monitoring a before-the-crack-of-dawn playtime while I got in a short bit of reading. Let’s be honest...with all of the responsibilities on our plate and the needs of children, sometimes the little years feel like the lost years. We wonder how we’re going to be consistent about reading the Bible or exist off the little bits of scripture we can fit into our days. We feel like a thriving relationship with God might just need to wait for a later season of life. Well-meaning friends might tell us it’s not that big of a deal because it will get easier when the kids are older. But as Laura and I have done this motherhood thing for about seven years now, we’ve both had faith that even when our children are young and we’re tired, we can still live a life of full immersion in the things of God. We can still enjoy his presence and grow in our knowledge and love for him, even when our kids wake up before the alarm.
So today, I’m excited to share a special bonus episode with you. It’s actually an excerpt from our book—chapter 18, titled, “The Little Years are Not the Lost Years.” In this chapter, you’ll hear about how you can grow in your love for the gospel, even when you’re in a busy stage of motherhood. We hope this is both encouraging and practical, and spurs you on to abide in Christ. If this resonates with you, consider snagging a copy of our book titled, Risen Motherhood: Gospel Hope for Everyday Moments. You can find it at places like Amazon, Christianbook.com, Barnes and Noble, Lifeway and more! There’s a hardcover, digital, and audiobook version available. Choose whatever works best for you! And don’t forget to head over to @risenmotherhood on Instagram this week to enter a giveaway for one of five free copies of the audiobook! Okay, let’s listen as Laura reads in this special clip of the Risen Motherhood audiobook:
Laura: Have you ever heard of the 10,000-hour rule? Some research claims you can become an expert on any topic if you spend 10,000 hours on study and practice. However, the original psychologist behind this research says it’s not just doing the same thing over and over (as we often think of practice). It must be what the psychologist calls “deliberate practice.” According to his theory, people with little to no talent or base knowledge in a particular area can become top golfers, musicians, free-throw shooters, chess players, and businesspeople.
“Deliberate practice” means developing skills or knowledge in a new area by practicing what you know and stretching yourself just beyond your capabilities. It means getting outside your comfort zone and comfortably living with things you don’t yet understand or feel like you can do. It involves being willing to make mistakes and then figuring out how to fix them.
In deliberate practice, you continue learning—not despite the struggle, but because of it.
If you’d asked us six or seven years ago to write a book like this one, both of us would have laughed. We were new to motherhood and new to everyday gospel application. This skill felt difficult, foreign, and beyond our capacity, and at times, we had thoughts of throwing in the towel. But we knew it was essential to our role as mothers and even more to our calling as believers in Christ. So we persevered, striving to grow in Bible literacy and gospel application amid diaper changes, preschool drop-offs, playdates, and doctors’ appointments.
What we know today is a product of applying ourselves in the cracks of time available to us. We admit, in our years of motherhood, there were times we watched Netflix more than we read our Bibles (particularly after each new baby came home). Yet through an overarching time of deep, intentional study and application, or deliberate practice, we pushed ourselves to learn more about God and love him more by studying his Word on our own and in community.
We still have much to learn (and we’re definitely not 10,000-hour experts), but we’re thankful for how far we’ve come, even when the growth felt slow. This book is the result of many, many years of on-and-off deliberate practice to know and understand God’s Word.
Yet during our short time as moms, we’ve noticed some people tend to write off the little years. They say things like, “It’s okay that you didn’t read your Bible or complete your Bible study. You’re busy raising children!” We’re thankful for their kindness, but these responses imply that margin hours can’t add up to much. They don’t consider that small efforts can compound toward an eternal purpose.
It’s true, we sometimes have valid reasons for not being able to spend time in deep study of God’s Word. But we wonder if the most common reason for not engaging in consistent study is not that we don’t have time, but that it’s… hard?
We don’t like the struggle and the sacrifice, so we don’t do it.
Let us encourage you—the little years don’t have to be the lost years. Those hours (or minutes) add up.
Ordinary Moms, Extraordinary Knowledge, and Love of God
We tend to think that theology, Bible literacy, and gospel application are for pastors and seminary students, or maybe for that super-spiritual woman who disciples us. But the truth is, we’re all theologians. We all have ideas about God that inform the way we live our everyday lives.
God wants ordinary people to live gospel-centered lives. As believers, we all have access to the same living and active book, the Bible. We all have the same transforming power of the Holy Spirit, making us like Christ each day. No one receives an extra-special revelation from God. He has designed for every believer to grow in their personal understanding of him through a firsthand knowledge of his Word.
So, what are realistic expectations for growth in God’s Word? Perhaps we need to set aside our perfect version of Bible study and engage right where God has us. It’s wonderful to enjoy hot coffee with the sunrise in a silent house. We love a quiet time that involves highlighters, cozy blankets, and uninterrupted prayer. But developing a deeper understanding of the gospel is less about crafting the perfect quiet time and more about seeking him throughout our whole day—crumbs, stains, screams, and all. It’s firmly, adamantly, stubbornly pursuing God with our whole life. We should try to become 10,000-hour experts on the things of God.
Some might suggest the hours only count if they are uninterrupted, before the kids wake up. But as moms, we don’t always have that luxury. Instead of letting that discourage us, let’s keep learning where we can, weaving the gospel into our lives until it’s so seamless, no one can tell one from the other. It’s less like jumping in and out of the pool and more like learning to live in the ocean. It’s not getting wet and drying off time and time again, but adapting to a whole new environment, living with full immersion in the things of God. Let God’s Word permeate your whole life and soak through all your clothes.
Sometimes it will feel like this progress is arduous. But you grow because of the struggle, remember? There will be days when you walk away from your study of God’s Word or a conversation with a fellow believer without the answers. You might feel frustration because your beliefs are challenged. You might feel angry or scared because you’re cut to the heart and the Holy Spirit is revealing sin in your life. You might want to give up because you think more happiness exists apart from faithful obedience. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight, so settle in and get comfortable as God’s Spirit grows your understanding and love of the gospel.
Mom, don’t underestimate what God is doing in this season. While you are busy washing tiny hands and feet in the bathtub, you can love God and become well-versed in his ways. While you are making snack plates and having picnics in the living room, you can expand your theology. While you are out on a run or playing ring-around-the-rosy, you can deepen in your love of Christ’s work on the cross. While you are heading to work, you can apply the gospel to your circumstances. You don’t have to wait for an easier season, when your kids are older or even out of the house. You don’t have to become a 10,000-hour expert this year, but by God’s grace, you can grow and you can change.
A Mom and Her Bible
If you’re like us, when it comes to studying the Bible, you’re hot and cold. We begin a new Bible study with gusto, only to burn out when we can’t find our stash of pretty highlighters. Sometimes our Bible gets stuffed under our van seat for a week. In seasons of consistency in God’s Word, we sometimes feel more like we’re checking it off our list than developing true devotion to him. Occasionally, we flip open the Bible to a random page in desperation, hoping God will speak to our current situation.
Bible study can be a struggle, especially in the tiring season of young children. But wherever you’re at, you can start with consistent reading and thoughtful firsthand study.
Building Bible literacy isn’t an easy task. We often come to God’s Word hoping it will be like our social media feed, full of inspirational nuggets to carry us through our day, and feeling disappointed when we don’t feel immediately fulfilled or we don’t understand what we’re reading. We come eager to learn, only to be interrupted by a toddler waking up from a nap or an older sibling coming to us after a squabble. Our Bible seems too hard, too archaic, too disconnected, too out of touch to speak to our lives, so we give up and turn to other things for hope.
Yes, Bible study is hard, but it’s not without hope. But the answer might not be what you want to hear.
The key to finding lasting hope and answers to today’s questions is through methodical, intentional study of God’s Word. There are many ways to do this. Entire books have been written on it! We don’t have space to go into all the details, but we’ve collected our favorite resources on our website at risenmotherhood.com/biblestudytools. In addition, in this chapter we’ve added a few practical tips for getting started. Growing in Bible literacy is not complicated, but it’s best to have a plan, study with purpose, and keep the long view in mind.
You won’t be perfect at it. None of us are. Particularly in these years of raising young children, deliberate practice isn’t always realistic. Even though we need immersion in Scripture more than ever, a move, a new job, a new baby, a completed adoption, the loss of a loved one, an ailing parent, a sick child, or something else might cause our time in God’s Word to be sporadic. And that’s normal! We’ve been there.
When this happens, it’s important to remember the true meaning of abiding in Christ. For true believers, we always abide with him. Our standing before God can never change, regardless of whether we read the Bible that day. But at the same time, if we are truly in Christ, this reality will lead us to abide through action, with a desire to grow in our understanding of and devotion to God’s Word.
True believers don’t rise or fall by the number of hours they’ve spent reading the Bible that week. Our “bad Bible-reading days” don’t need to bring us guilt because Jesus bought our freedom with his blood on the cross. But this same sacrifice compels us to make a study plan and keep coming back to God’s Word. His love motivates ours, and because the Spirit is at work in us, no season is wasted.
God knows your circumstances. Whether it’s listening to the audio Bible in the car, using a reading-plan app during night feedings, or participating in an in-depth study at your church, every deposit can transform you into the likeness of Christ. Every seed can bear fruit. But be stubborn about it. Have some fortitude.
No matter where you’re at with Bible reading, no matter how long it’s been, we implore you: Pick it back up.
Practical Tips
• Pray before and after you study. Ask God to grow your love for his Word, reveal the true meaning of the text, and transform your life in application.
• Bring your children alongside you and be patient with interruptions. Make disciples while you’re growing in your knowledge of God’s Word.
• Select one book of the Bible to read over and over again for comprehension, or slowly work your way through the entire Bible to grasp the overarching themes.
Five Years from Now
The 10,000-hours theory has a few other keys to growth to become an expert in anything through deliberate practice. The psychologist behind the research says you need to find a mentor, get feedback, start with the basics, commit for the long haul, and test your skills. This sounds strikingly similar to God’s plan for growth and discipleship. Living as a gospel expert means committing to a local community of believers, engaging in group Bible study discussions, gaining a foundational knowledge of God’s Word, persevering in hard seasons, and applying truth in everyday moments.
If you apply yourself to the study of God’s Word through deliberate practice, can you imagine where you’ll be in five years? Take our word for it from personal experience—you’ll be a different person, even if you have the same circumstances.
With that in mind, let’s enjoy our ideal quiet time when we can but also keep our Bibles open at the breakfast table, on the bathroom vanity, and on the coffee table. Let’s fill our bookshelves with gospel-rich literature made for adults and children. Let’s meet with godly friends who are also pursuing God so we can discuss how the gospel applies to our personal lives and the culture around us. Let’s sing silly songs and serious songs that help us remember deep truths about good doctrine.
Let’s turn on an audio Bible app in the car on the way to school or pull our kids up to the couch while we finish reading—giving them some fun toys to play with nearby. Let’s get involved in a local church where we’ll find women to pour into us and women to pour into. When we’re folding laundry or commuting home from work, let’s listen to theologically sound podcasts, sermons, and conference talks. In all of it, let’s think critically and deliberately about what we hear, comparing it to the truth of God’s Word.
Let’s start learning again when we stop. Let’s get back up when we fall off. Let’s bask in God’s grace and ask him for grit to keep going. Give it five years. We would guess you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the fruit—all sown in the years we’re told are lost.
Mold Your Heart and Mind to God
Growing in Bible literacy in the little years is a bit like raising kids. You invest day after day, sometimes feeling like nothing is happening. But over time, you see them change. By God’s grace, they can voice their grateful heart by saying please and thank you, they can feel conviction for hitting their sister and apologize, and they can have a heart for those who are left out and invite them to play.
It’s the same for you. You might feel like the input isn’t initially yielding change, but over time you’ll find you can recall applicable Bible passages. That familiarity allows you to rehearse the gospel story to yourself. Then one day, when you’re feeling anxious, you automatically start putting life and truth together.
You can start to see the Bible as one big story explained in a lot of different ways over a long period of time. You can recognize when something you hear from a friend doesn’t align with the truth of God’s Word. You can start spotting half-truths in pretty squares on your Instagram feed or the latest Christian bestsellers. You can even understand hard parts of the Old Testament!
In time, by God’s grace, all this learning, communing, and meditating makes a difference. It’s not about earning knowledge, but about storing up God’s Word in our hearts so our hearts begin to mold into his. We will come to love what he loves, care for what he cares for, and live out what he has called us to.
No matter what, remember that growing in Bible literacy and knowledge of the gospel is not just for the smartest of the smart. The gospel is for everyone—for every mom. For moms who stay home, work from home, or work outside the home (and everything in between). The gospel is for poor moms, rich moms, and middle-class moms. The gospel is for moms of every skin tone and ethnic background. The gospel is for the weary mom, the perfectionist mom, and the doubting mom. The gospel is for the mom who feels like she’s doing a good enough job and for the mom who feels like the worst mom on the planet.
Change might be slow, but it’s not a contest. Let us reiterate—the gospel is for you, and God’s power can work in anyone in any season of life. The little years are not the lost years.
So now that you have the building blocks for growing in your knowledge and love of God, let’s talk about how you can apply that truth in everyday life. How you can remember the gospel on your best days and on the days when you’ve completely blown it. It’s commonly referred to as preaching the gospel to yourself.
Or you can just think of it as living Risen Motherhood.
Emily: Thanks for tuning into this special bonus episode of the Risen Motherhood podcast. As a reminder, you just heard an excerpt from the Risen Motherhood audiobook, chapter 18, “The Little Years are Not the Lost Years.” If you want to hear more, you can head to our show notes at risenmotherhood.com. Finally, don’t forget to head to @risenmotherhood on Instagram to enter a giveaway to win one of five free copies of the whole audiobook. Thanks for joining us!