Mothering in a Pandemic
In all of the books that we might have read about mothering, in all of the conversations that we’ve had with moms and grandmothers who have gone before us, we couldn’t have imagined that we’d be mothering during a pandemic. And yet, here we are. Our daily lives are being shaped by the realities of a virus that has spread its influence across the globe. There are new challenges, new struggles, and unexpected trials for many of us right now. And yet, thankfully, God is not surprised by where we are. He is still in control, and our lives belong to him.
So, in the midst of a world that has changed quickly and radically, how do we respond well? As followers of Christ and mothers to our children, here are four ideas for living faithfully in this unexpected season.
Strengthen Your Own Heart in the Lord
While investing time in daily schedules, homeschooling efforts, and meal planning are valuable for loving our families, the most necessary thing we need is to daily meet with the Lord. Spending time in his word and in prayer enables us to move forward in hope and peace.
Many of us have children at home for more hours than we had planned. Others of us are juggling full or part-time work from home along with the needs of our children. Some of us are struggling with health issues and concerns that are compounded by the current situation. And many of us are dealing with financial blows that won’t stop. These are real trials that must be faced. But we cannot face these trials with hope if we are not deeply rooted and established in the love of God and in the truth of his word.[1]
As we strengthen our hearts in the Lord, the news and struggles of daily life can be put into an eternal perspective. We might experience anxiety and fear, but we can run to God in the midst of it. This pandemic has impacted all of us in different ways, but our need to remember and live out the truth of the gospel remains the same. Even in trials, he is your good Father.[2] He knows what is ahead for you. Spend time with him and allow the gospel to shape how you see your days, responsibilities, and the people you are living with—and watch him transform you from the inside out during this season.
Adjust Your Expectations
It’s also important to recognize that this is not a “normal” or “regular” season of life. For many of us, schedules and routines have been upended, and our lives look very different today than they did just a month or two ago. Because of that, we need to adjust our expectations about what will get done and how our lives will look.
I think of the Israelite mothers who left Egypt during the Exodus with their families.[3] While the change was a good one, any sense of stability for those Israelite mothers and their children dissipated all at once! The routines and structures they had known were gone, and they had to adjust their expectations for what life was going to look like now that they were living in tents and traveling across a desert.
The Lord understands that for many of us, it’s difficult to pivot into something totally new, especially if we feel comforted by knowing what is ahead and setting schedules and routines. He knows that living in a pandemic is not what any of us want or would choose, and there is grace for us to grieve what is lost—and then adjust our expectations for the days ahead. Life is different right now. That doesn’t mean that it’s inherently better or worse, but it is new. In the midst of the changes, ask the Lord to help you trust his sovereignty in the unknown. Then take comfort that he remains faithful in this new season. He provided daily manna for his people in the desert; he will give us what we need for each day, too.
Guide Your Children
Our children may not be able to articulate everything they’re feeling right now—most of us can’t even do that as adults! That’s ok; our children need to be able to express their fears and frustrations, as well as their sorrows and hurts, during this time. They may need space to reflect and cry. They may need to get outside and run off their anger at how their lives have changed. We need to give them that space. But our kids also need to be guided through this season. We cannot expect our children to handle all of the changes they’re facing—no matter how big or small—on their own. As mothers, we have the unique opportunity to intentionally lead and love them through this time.
While many of us find ourselves newly schooling from home, the opportunity we have to guide our children during this time is a gift—even if it’s not one we would have initially chosen. As we seek to help them scholastically, we also get to point them to the Lord through that work, and to show them what it looks like to trust in him and walk in his peace in all things.
Through purposeful prayer time together, we can all pour out our concerns to God (at age appropriate levels). Through reading the Bible together, we can recount God’s faithfulness to his people through countless trials and seasons of testing. Consider reading through the Exodus story with your children, or the story of Noah and his family, or the life of Joseph, or the life of Paul. The Bible is rich with stories of men and women who trusted God through difficult and even impossible circumstances—and who found God to be faithful and true. The outcomes of their lives were varied, but God’s character and trustworthiness never faltered! These are the stories and truths we can highlight to our children. More than anything, knowing who God is—and who he has always been—will give our children the handrails they need to navigate this season.
Find Ways to Serve With Your Children
As members of the body of Christ, we have a wonderful opportunity to love and serve others during this time. It’s going to look different than we’re used to because of social distancing, but that doesn’t need to keep us from giving and ministering to others—and including our children in the joy of serving!
One idea is to ask your kids to think of others who might feel discouraged or lonely right now. Do they have a grandparent who is alone, or a neighbor who might be struggling? Then talk through how your family can help! Can you mail a letter or drop off a note? Can you FaceTime a loved one who is far away or drop off groceries for someone in your neighborhood who is immunocompromised? Can your children email the teacher that they miss or reach out to a friend at school who might not have much support at home?
You might also consider serving our first responders: medical workers and emergency servicemen and women. As a family, you could make posters to thank them and drive by a police station. You could pool some money with other church members and have lunch delivered to the local ER.
At the same time, many of us feel stretched too thin with the needs in our own homes—and it is more than ok if you can’t add anything else right now. There are so many ways for us to be the hands and feet of Christ in small but meaningful ways, starting first with our own family. If and when we have the margin to start reaching out, we can make whatever we do a family endeavor by including our children in these opportunities, which can help them to consider the broader world.
It’s a gift to get to love and serve others—in our own homes and outside of them—in the name of Jesus!
An Encouraging Reality
When it comes down to it, mothering in a pandemic is not ultimately all that different than mothering in “normal time.” Yes, our boundaries and daily lives are uniquely challenging right now, but our ultimate goals and aims as mothers haven't changed. That’s because this earth is not our final home; we are “sojourners and exiles” here, waiting for “a better country, a heavenly one” that God has prepared for us (1 Pet. 2:11; Heb. 11:16). We were never meant to live for this world or to prepare our children for life on this earth only. Living in a pandemic highlights the truths that have been the same for ages, and with God’s help and truth, we can live intentionally with hope and joy in these days.
[1] Ephesians 3:17
[2] See Romans 8:28
[3] See Exodus 12 and following
