The Praying Mom: Acknowledging We’re Not in Control

As a mom to three young children, sometimes it feels like the world depends on me.

Just getting my kids out the door to our weekly co-op takes all my executive and administrative functions. It’s up to me to make sure the baby is fed, the kids are wearing pants when they get in the car, and the sandwiches are packed. I’m the one who drives the car and decides the route we’ll take. I choose if we are going to do math facts, sing Scripture memory songs, or listen to a read-aloud along the way. 

When we get out of the car, I’m (supposed to be) the one in charge. I tell the kids to look out for cars in the parking lot, to take care going down the slippery stairs, and to be quiet as we go into the assembly—because we’re fifteen minutes late and this mama doesn’t want to draw more attention to that than she has to. It’s up to me to manage everyone and everything—or so it seems.      

This feeling of control—or lack thereof, depending on the day—makes me vacillate between frustration and anxiety. Why do I have to make everything happen? And—Am I doing enough? As much as my kids can overwhelm me, I completely adore them, and I am desperate to “get motherhood right.” In my mind, I know it all depends on the Lord. But in my heart, sometimes I still cling to my agency.      

An Essential Tool

Amidst all my worry and wrestling, the Lord gives me a powerful tool to remember I am a creature under the authority of my Creator. That tool is the physical act of prayer.

When I pray, I cry out to God, the One who made me and who made my children. He knows my deepest fears and my deepest longings. When I pray, I demonstrate with my words and my body that I believe I am not in charge—that I serve a sovereign God who is all-sufficient for my justification and is working in me for my sanctification. Praying is saying to the Lord, “Help me! I’m not in charge; you are in charge! My world doesn’t depend on me; it depends on you! You hold the earth in motion, you set the stars in place, and you know the hairs on my baby’s head. You know my tendency towards anger. You love me, and you call me to holiness. Help me!”

Amid my overwhelm, I’m often desperate for a moment to myself. I long for a quick run after my husband gets home or a hot shower after the kids are in bed. And while those moments to recharge are helpful, they aren’t the most important. “Me time” is nice. But prayer time is essential.

Yet prayer is also an area we tend to struggle with in various ways. 

Prioritizing Prayer

Susanna Wesley, mother of evangelist John Wesley, had sixteen kids—that’s a lot of breakfast bowls. Wesley’s house was certainly busy, but she taught her kids that if they came into the kitchen and saw mom with her apron over her head, they were not to bother her because that meant that she was in prayer or in the Word. Similarly, my friend Andrea, herself a seasoned mom of eight, has encouraged young moms like me to be creative about prioritizing prayer time. For instance, if our house is loud all the time, or our mind tends to wander during prayer, we can try writing out our prayers in a journal. 

A few other ideas: Pray first thing in the morning before the day gets going—even if it’s just a breath prayer acknowledging that God is the maker of heaven and earth, and you are not. Pray when you get in the car and before you start the engine. Put your hands on the wheel and ask God to protect you as you drive and keep you from sinning against your children. Pray before you serve Cheerios or start a craft. Pray at the end of every conversation of any significant length with another adult. Pray with children about the contents of the storybook you are reading—if the book is about rivers, for example, thank God that he created rivers and holds the planets in place. Keep a prayer guide by your breakfast nook.[1] Print out or illustrate verses and poems and display them around your house, reminding you to pray. 

If Jesus Christ himself—fully God and fully man—prioritized prayer in all different contexts and circumstances during his time on earth, how much more important is it for us, finite and sinful creatures? 

Resting in God’s Control

As we pray, friends, we’re assured in Scripture that our loving Father responds and attends to our needs.[2] The reality of God listening to—and being interested in answering—our prayers is mind-boggling. Sometimes I feel like I hardly have time to ask my husband about his workday, but God has time for me and every heart that seeks him on the planet.

And in fact, God’s availability itself illuminates his character.

As moms, most of us are at capacity. We are limited, and an important sign of maturity is learning when to say no—even to some conversations with lovely people. But God, precisely because he is infinite, has no limits and is able to converse with me at all times. And he knows me more intimately than anyone else can. 

He is the Creator, and I am the creation. He is in charge, and I am not. And he tells me—an anxious, overwhelmed mom—to cast my cares upon him through prayer because he cares for me. He is in control.

[1] I recommend those from Operation World or Barnabas Aid.

[2] Psalm 6:9, 66:17-20; 1 Peter 3:12; 1 John 5:14-15