I’ve never felt a joy quite like becoming a mom. Parenthood has brought out so much of the best of us.

And, yes, some of the worst too. From the I’ve-never-felt-this-consistently-tired-in-my-life fatigue; to transitioning to one income; to (not) figuring out sleep routines; to anxiety and feelings of inadequacy; we’ve had our share of marital strife since becoming parents...
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I must remember that God’s overarching purpose for my life is to prepare me for an eternity with him by making me more like Christ...This means marriage isn’t about my spouse completing me, living our best life now, or sweet tax breaks. Our main goal as husband and wife is to help prepare each other to see Jesus...

Like me, you will fail. You’ll feel fatigued. You’ll let your spouse down one way or another. You’ll wonder if grace has run out. In those moments, I pray you remember: “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young” (Is. 40:11).

Your Savior is Greater. His grace is a bottomless ocean. Keep walking with him. He is gently leading you. He will see you through.
 

Those early years of mothering, they just didn’t fit me quite right. 

Ya know, like how you feel when you try on one of those rompers and you just keep tugging and twisting it, hoping to get it to lay just right. 

Something about a newborn felt odd, and unknown to me. My body seemed foreign, my routines were in the diaper genie.  I wasn’t sure what had changed in me, or what was to remain the same.

That little babe on my chest, at times, didn’t fit quite right. 

This is how motherhood felt for a couple years. I would look at my reflection in the metaphorical mirror and tug and twist this awkward new title of mom. The struggle, was very real.

In an attempt to silence the fear of failing as a mom, I overcompensated with tight and rigid schedules and extreme expectations. That control birthed other bad habits and misconceptions—like that mothering was something at which to win. 

Here are questions that can help a family prayerfully determine the "family size" question using Biblical principals. 

If you're anything like us, you've wondered, "How do I know what God has called our family to do in His name?" While the answer to that question is far more exhaustive than a short blog post, here are some thoughts that have helped us brainstorm:

When it comes to being a family "on mission" for the gospel, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparison. As we admire what God is doing through the lives of other families (who seem to never waiver in their good works, heart for the lost, or desire to sacrifice) we can chain ourselves to the iron ball of condemnation.

Without even realizing it, our mission becomes about living-up and impressing those around us with radical service INSTEAD of resting in the full righteousness Jesus purchased on our behalf.