Establishing a personal mission for our family can help us make God-glorifying decisions and resist the pull of an ungodly culture.

In a world full of dizzying options and opinions, Luke 10 reminds us that Christ alone is our one necessity.

God is gracious to use both the good and challenging aspects of decision-making to help us grow in relationship with him and one another.

The most effective parents I know are those who communicate a vision to their kids—those who say, ‘This is who we are. This is who we follow. And this is where we’re going.’

These are parents who take into account the unique giftings, talents, and challenges within their family and work together toward God’s purpose for their family.

In Matthew 28, Jesus gives his disciples one last important charge before he went back to heaven: ‘Make disciples.’

Now, sometimes we read this charge with overseas missionaries in mind—they have gone out into all the world and are making disciples in other lands. But did you know that as a parent, you also have a wide-open mission field right in your own home?

Although the reality of faithfully and daily discipling our kids can be hard, discipleship is simply helping our children see what their faith in Jesus means in the day-to-day.

When we craft a family vision, we’re asking our kids to take this journey of discipleship along with us.

We tell them who we are and where we’re going as a family.

We teach our kids the characteristics of the Christian life that we value most.

We help them see that living a life of following Jesus is the most fulfilling and exciting way to live.

How do we begin to figure out a vision for our family?

‘What do people think of me?’

Our attempt to shape the answer to that question can control our lives. It’s often there in the home furnishings we choose, the table we set & the planter we place on the patio. It can be there in the car we drive, the books we read & the places we choose for vacation. By means of our clothes, our weight, our gym routine & the interior of our home, we are so easily driven by a craving for an acceptable answer to that question.

It can begin before our children are born. 

As our baby grows within us, we seek advice & do research on how to be the best possible mother. We note what other moms do & how they do it, setting standards for our mothering techniques along the way. Our goal is to distinguish not only good from bad, but better from best. 

Sometimes, though, we wind up not only wanting to be the ideal mom but yearning to be known as that mom. 

If we live self-conscious lives, we harm those we love most & mar our witness of Christ. And trying to live out an ideal-mother identity makes us critical toward mothers whose parenting choices differ from ours. We silently (or not so silently) judge rather than come alongside them to encourage their efforts to love their children. 

It seems counterintuitive, but joy & genuine love result not from being thought well of but by thinking less of ourselves altogether. 

As Christ followers, we can toss ‘What do people think of me?’ out the window. That’s because we’re called to ask a different question: What do people think of Christ? 

When we’re driven by a concern for how people perceive him, we can live free from the bondage of what people think of us. 

As we begin to grasp this truth more deeply, we’ll enjoy the freedom of self-forgetfulness. 

Because our identity is in Christ, we have no reason to fear our weaknesses. After all, those weaknesses are the very place where his strength is most powerfully at work.

As we open our hearts & lives, we become a resource of God’s grace & encouragement to the struggling mothers all around us.

Here are questions that can help a family prayerfully determine the "family size" question using Biblical principals.