Ep. 154 || When You Don’t Know How to Discipline

If the word “discipline” makes you feel confused, discouraged, or even defeated, you’re not alone! As our children transition from sweet, snuggly babies into tantrum-throwing toddlers, we can see that they need discipline, but knowing how to discipline is a different matter. We may wonder whether there’s a “right” way or a “Christian” way to discipline. We may even find ourselves wishing someone would just give us a cheat sheet with all the answers! In this episode, Emily shares some of her experience trying to make sense of discipline. Although there’s no clear-cut system to fix all of our discipline struggles, she helps us think about discipline through the lens of scripture and discusses seven practical things we can do when we don’t know how to discipline.

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Mentioned on the Show:

• Risen Motherhood Resources Page

• The Abide Method: Learn to Study the Bible

• Free Bible Study Worksheets

• Bible Gateway: How to Do a Topical Study of Scripture

• Blue Letter Bible

• Ep. 28, On the Same Team: Getting on the Same Page as Parents

• Ep. 90, Unified With Your Husband: Different Styles, Same Mission

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RELATED ARTICLES, RESOURCES, AND CONTENT

Related R|M Resources:

• The Risen Motherhood Book, Emily Jensen & Laura Wifler

• Ep. 107, Grace in Discipline: An Interview on Faithful Motherhood with Elyse Fitzpatrick

• Ep. 57, How Discipline Helps us Communicate the Gospel

• Ep. 108, How Do I Disciple My Children?

• Ep. 44, Raising More Than Just “Good” Kids

• Ep. 63, Jen Wilkin: Growing in God’s Word as a Mom of Little Ones

• “Seven Principles to Keep in Mind When You Don’t Know How to Discipline”

• “Parent with Prayer”

• “Mothering a Rebellious Heart” Courtney Reissig

Around the web:

• Parenting Is a Process, Not an Event - Paul Tripp

• “Parenting 001” Kevin DeYoung

• “Discipline that Connects with Our Children’s Hearts” Jim & Lynne Jackson

• “When a Child Disobeys: Six Steps for Healthy Correction” Sam Crabtree

• “Ten Biblical Truths on the Obedience of Children” John Piper

• Jen Wilkin on Training a Child in the Way He Should Speak

• How Does Scripture Teach Us to Discipline Our Kids? - TGC

• The One Year Praying through the Bible for Your Kids Nancy Guthrie

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We’re grateful to Crossway for making this week’s show possible. Get Crossway's ESV Scripture Journals 40% off with a free Crossway+ membership. Offer valid through March 26, 2020.

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R|M Apply Questions:

1. When you don’t know how to discipline, how do you typically respond? Where do you usually turn for help?

2. Emily walked through seven practical things to help when we don’t know how to discipline: studying the Bible, seeking help from older couples, reading books/researching various philosophies, getting on the same page with your spouse, developing a plan, praying, and taking action and making adjustments. Which of these ideas might be the most helpful for you right now? What’s a practical step you could take to get started? 

3. How has disciplining your children revealed your own hurts and sin? What are some things you might need to take to the Lord, confessing your sin and seeking his help? 

4. How can looking to Christ—remembering that he is our salvation (and the only One who can save our children)—encourage you when discipline is a struggle?

5. We won’t always know what to do in discipline, but we can know where to turn. What might it look like for you to turn to the Lord and depend on him for wisdom and grace to discipline your children?

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