God’s Care for Postpartum Moms
Postpartum life can have many hard moments. It’s a blur. It can be so isolating as a new mom and incredibly hard to find people to relate to. Some days it feels like it’s just one thing after another going wrong, and almost nothing goes as planned. Trying to simply get out of the house can take an hour!
I am five months postpartum with my second son, and I would say postpartum life isn’t easier or harder than before. With each child comes a new set of joys and challenges.
With my first son, Isaiah 40:11 was a lifeline, and I find myself returning to its goodness and hope now two years later:
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
This season is messy, hard, confusing, and vulnerable in so many ways. And I think that’s why God gives us this imagery of a shepherd with his sheep. We are so desperately in need of the guidance, teaching, and care of this Good Shepherd. As we stumble and fall, we can look to Christ and experience his gentle leading. As we struggle, we have the hope of Christ’s grace and a constant reminder that we are not alone. In fact, his word tells us God holds us close to his heart.
Our Gentle Shepherd
I struggle with perfectionism, and gentle is not a word I would use to describe how I treat myself. Many mothers grapple with mom-guilt. In fact, I can’t think of one mom I know who doesn’t. There is an immense amount of pressure on moms to meet everyone’s needs and juggle so many responsibilities.
Gentle by definition means to show kind or tender temperament and character, to not be harsh or severe.[1] In the midst of such a trying season, with so many demands and so much struggle, God’s gentleness and kindness abounds over our shortcomings, reminding us to be kind and gentle with ourselves. God knows exactly what we need in this tough season, and he is quick to supply it—grace.
In the midst of postpartum life, as hard or as hazy as it may be, whether I sense the strength and presence of God with me on a good day or all I feel is my own pain, exhaustion, and frustration on the bad days, God is gently leading me and carries me close to his heart. And there is nothing as sweet as this realization.
God has displayed his gentle nature by highlighting and correcting my destructive thoughts when I go into perfectionism mode, critiquing my every move and never feeling like I’m doing a good enough job as a mom. God reminds me that my identity is in Christ, not in being a perfect mom. And I can let things go when they go awry and are completely out of my control because he is always in control.
God breathes space and peace into the chaotic moments of colic or sleep deprivation by reminding me that while sometimes it’s okay to step away for a second or hand the baby off to my husband, friend, or grandparent, I can rely on his strength to endure challenging things. More than anything, he reminds me to let myself be weak, to rest regularly, and to ask for help, because we as moms simply can’t do this all alone.
Best of all, whether my day is good or bad, it doesn’t change this fact: he is with me.
Whether I’m a “good” mom or disappoint myself all day long, he loves me in Christ. In a season full of unknowns and variables, it is so comforting to have this truth to hold on to.
I can’t tell you how many moments I’ve broken down in tears of frustration because of a diaper blowout, nursing latch problems, spilled breast milk, or sleep deprivation. The reasons are endless. In these hard moments, may we put aside the “do-it-yourself” mentality and allow Christ to be gentle with us and bring us peace. Those difficulties can prompt us to worship by stopping right in our tracks and crying out to Jesus, bringing him our lament, our exhaustion, our neediness—and allowing him to trade it for his joy, his strength, and his help. God graciously gives grace, peace, and wisdom to those who ask for it.
God is With You and For You
Christ wants to make his nearness and joy known to the postpartum mama. He is delighted in us when we may feel like a total failure. He wants to care for us when we feel like we have to take care of everyone else.
We must slow down and let him tend to our deepest needs—let him fill our souls by making sure we spend time with him, in his word, worship, and prayer. Our devotional time with God may look different than ever before—but God wants and will take whatever time we can give him. If you’re having a challenging moment, stop what you’re doing and turn on a worship song and pour out your heart to God. Get on your knees and pray. Take a moment to remind yourself that God is present and available in your time of need. The point is to simply take moments throughout the day to connect with God.
How can you take some time today to connect with the Lord and other people? Maybe you can take five minutes to meditate on God’s grace while you’re feeding the baby. Maybe you can put in headphones and play your favorite worship song. Or listen to the word of God read aloud through a Bible app.
Is there someone you can reach out to today so you might not feel so isolated and alone? Has someone been offering you help, coffee, or company and you keep refusing? Maybe you could take them up on their generous offer. Whatever you need today, know that the Good Shepherd wants to meet your deepest needs. Allow him in today, to care gently for you and carry you through the next moment.
In the exhausting moments, he is there. In the frustrating moments, he is there. In the blissful, newborn snuggle moments, he is there.
If we can hold onto the truth that Jesus is in it all—the good, the bad, and the ugly—we will see him carry us through this challenging, stretching, refining season of postpartum.
So slow down, mama. Take a deep breath of grace and fall back into the Shepherd’s arms.
He’s got you.
[1] Lexico, “Gentle,” https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/gentle.
