Learning Contentment in Unwanted Places
Editor’s Note: This article addresses biblical contentment in light of even the hardest trials of our lives, but in some cases, professional help or counseling may also be valuable as we process through pain. For more resources, please visit our Moms in Crisis and Suffering & Loss pages.
With puffy eyes, a weary body, and an aching heart, I was desperate for an escape. Escape from a broken world, escape from a broken body, and escape from a broken heart that felt it could bear no more. For more than a decade, trial upon trial came around every corner. Chronic illness, five surgeries and seasons in a wheelchair, illness in all four children, depression, enormous financial need, the loss of a home, marital struggles, unrelenting fleas in a rental home, and the list could go on. Yet, as difficult as all of this had been, it was nothing compared to the fourteen years of heartache caused by life-altering special needs in our child that we’ve mostly borne alone.
I admit, more than once, I have pleaded with the Lord to take me home—desperate to be free from the crushing weight of grief, pain, sin, and loss. But for reasons beyond what I can understand, he has chosen not to. Instead, he’s called me to endure. Even more, he’s called me to be content within it.
The Source of Contentment
How can we be content in circumstances that we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy? For years I have struggled to grapple with this question. Why would God ask me to be content in such deep pain? I can persevere if I must, but how can I possibly be content with this?
Yet little by little, despite all my pity parties and spiritual temper-tantrums, God has patiently opened my eyes to understand more of what the Apostle Paul meant when he said that he “learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” (Philippians 4:12-13).
As painful as my trials have been, the apostle Paul knew far worse. Imprisonment, physical torture, repeated exposure to death, shipwrecks, natural disasters, sleeplessness, hunger, ministry burdens, and persecution are just a few of the numerous afflictions he mentions in 2 Corinthians 11:23-30. Yet Paul learned the secret of contentment by giving up his self-dependent ways, exchanging his own weakness for Christ’s strength.
Contentment doesn’t mean we no longer feel or grieve the pain. It doesn’t mean we sit back and do nothing to improve our situation. And it certainly doesn’t mean that we should glorify suffering and always have a smile on our face in response to the pain of this world. Even Jesus wept at the grief of those he loved.[1]
Our circumstances (whether good, difficult, or horrific) have never been and will never be the source of contentment. Instead, it’s finding the strength and presence of Christ within our pain to be of greater value than freedom from it. It’s counting our joy and satisfaction in Christ as a more priceless treasure than any earthly gain we may desire.
But how?
Learning Contentment
It’s easy to band-aid a verse or positive sentiment over our pain, squeeze our eyes shut, and hope our questions and heartache will dissipate. And often, that’s what others offer us as well.
But faith is active, which is why Paul wrote that he “learned” contentment. He didn’t magically feel content. It was a gradual process. One that took perseverance, fight, and a variety of circumstantial experiences. In seasons of prosperity, he had to taste the dissatisfaction of earthly pleasures—learning that true joy could only be found in Christ. In seasons of struggle, he was forced to ask himself—“If I lose everything in this world, is Jesus still enough?”
Friend, the same is true for us. Whether in a season of comfort, pain, or sorrow, we learn contentment by accepting our lot in faith that Jesus (and all he provides) is enough and will never fail us. He is the source of our contentment—not relief, money, acceptance, revenge, healing, or escape. Our circumstances are merely the teachers meant to lead us from head knowledge of the truth to heart and life transformation.
Practical Steps Towards Contentment
Much like working through grief, learning contentment can be a slow, incremental process. At times, we might have to rehearse truth to our hearts multiple times a day until we believe it. But here are some simple ways we can start:
Grieve the pain of living in a sin-cursed world. God grieves it, and so can we. God can handle our tears, questions, and pain.[2]
Stand guard against the enemy actively seeking to turn our hearts away from our Heavenly Father. What better way than to inflict pain (that can tempt us to question his goodness, sovereignty, and love) or give prosperity (that can distract from what we truly need)?
Remember God’s sovereignty over every millisecond of our lives (including the enemy’s attacks). He has a good purpose for everything.
Check our thoughts. Are we believing any lies here? Do we believe we know better than God? Do we believe that the God who set boundaries to the seas rules over the length and intensity of our trials? Do we believe we would be content if we just had _____? Do we think we deserve better? If so, why?
Recite God’s promises: He is faithful.[3] He is working all things for the good of those who love him.[4] He is our safe refuge.[5] Nothing can snatch us out of his hands.[6] He gives strength to the weary.[7] His love never fails.[8] He has redeemed us to himself through salvation and is making us more like him through this circumstance.[9] He will fight for us.[10] He will give us wisdom.[11] He will supply all our needs.[12] He will be with us in the fire, refining us to reflect his image.[13] And countless more.
Do the next thing in confidence that the strength of Christ will meet us.
Joyfully anticipate the future. These trials won’t last forever. Healing, freedom, or restoration will either come in our lifetime or be fully redeemed in the presence of Christ.[14]
By God’s grace, moment by moment, day by day, season by season, we can grow in learning the secret of contentment. I have no idea how my story will unfold, and I grieve what’s been lost daily. But I am not hopeless. Because in the darkest of nights, I am learning that the secret of contentment is not escaping from the darkness but trusting and resting in the strength and faithfulness of the Light that’s within it. For when I am weak, through Christ, then I am strong.
Home is around the corner.
[1] John 11:35
[2] Psalm 55:22
[3] Deuteronomy 31:6
[4] Romans 8:28
[5] Psalm 91:2
[6] John 10:28
[7] Isaiah 40:31
[8] Isaiah 54:10
[9] Colossians 1:13-14
[10] Exodus 14:13-14
[11] James 1:5
[12] Philippians 4:19
[13] 1 Peter 1:7
[14] Romans 8:18
