Managing Multiple Callings in Motherhood
Editor’s Note: As we entrust our many responsibilities to the Lord, we know that an ongoing question for moms is discerning what our individual callings and priorities are. We encourage you to engage with your local church and community as you work through these nuanced and complex decisions. For more encouragement, check out our Moms + Work mini-series.
There is a conflict I feel deep in my soul. It affects how I spend my time, how I spend my days. It is the kind of tension that, at times, keeps me up at night; the kind of tension I can’t seem to escape no matter how hard I try. And yet—it is a tension for my good.
Here is the tension God has placed before me—a tension that often feels hindering, but, in the end, leads me to the throne of grace:
If I wasn’t called to a vocation, I could have a million babies.
If I wasn’t called to motherhood, I could build a hundred businesses.
If I wasn’t called to building a small business, I could plant multiple churches.
There are times I wish I was called to just one thing—to play just one role in this life. But I’m called to all of the above. Not just one but all. I’m called to be my pastor husband’s partner in planting Trinity Church Greenville. I’m called to steward the small business of Tiny Theologians that I’ve been building for the last few years. I’m called to mother the two little ones entrusted to me.
Not just one—all.
So I live in the messy tension of throwing myself not headlong into one thing but into the multifaceted callings of God on my life. I am living in the middle: Mothering in the day and working in the margins of nap time. Doing less ministry than I often want or giving up outings and activities with my girls to bring them along with us in our service at church. Sacrificing sales for discipleship happening in the home and sometimes sacrificing rest during nap time for the business that supports our family.
I have learned that living in the tension is the best place to be. And yet—it is not always simple. Even as I know that this multifaceted calling is for my good and God’s glory, I feel my deep need to arm myself with truths to combat the lies that so often creep into my heart unnoticed. Here are three that anchor me:
God sees me as a whole person (even when others don’t).
Each of the different roles I play in this life come with those who see me primarily under one identity. My employees know me as a boss. My children know me as a mother. My church knows me as a local leader. But God doesn’t reduce me to these categories—he sees me as a whole person. He cares about my mind and its concerns about how the business is doing, about my heart that is burdened by the needs of those in our local body, about my body that is weary from carrying two children around the house all day. He sees the whole me, even when no one else does. Even when I fail to see myself as a holistic person. He sees me, and he loves me all the way down.
I am, first and foremost, called to be a child of God.
It is easy for me to think that God’s many callings on my life are the basis for his delight in me. I can also easily mistake motherhood as the most important role God has called me to. But Scripture testifies against both ideas. Before anything else, above all, first and foremost, God has called me to be his child. God doesn’t look at me according to one role or many roles, but he looks at me as one who is found in his Son.[1] He sees me as his child—the one who brings him joy and delight,[2] the one who starts his heart with attentive compassion,[3] the one with whom he will walk through every storm.[4]
God does not measure his approval in metrics.
Many of the roles that God has called me to have various metrics for success. In a small business, I can see whether or not we are meeting the needs of our customers by measuring sales and customer reviews. In motherhood, I can attempt to measure my success and failures by whether or not my children are growing in compassion, obedience, and knowing their ABCs. In church ministry, we can watch teams expand in size and witness people growing deeper in Christ. But God does not measure his approval in these metrics. He is not counting heads on Sunday mornings at church, and he is not tapping his foot anxiously until my child knows her alphabet. My approval is as fixed and secure as the tomb is empty. He has welcomed me, and his welcome will never be rescinded. Because of Christ, I am approved and accepted by God. Even more than that, I can confidently say that I am delightfully loved by him—regardless of what the metrics say.
God calls all of us to be and do many things throughout our lives. That’s the beauty of his unique design, and we get the joy and delight of stepping into the tension of our callings alongside the One who has walked the path before us. Today, let’s turn our eyes to him. Let’s walk in humble and glad submission to the Calling One, knowing this: where he calls us, he will sustain us.
[1] 1 Corinthians 1:30; Galatians 2:20; Ephesians 2:6
[2] Psalm 18:19; Psalm 149:4; Zephaniah 3:17
[3] Psalm 78:38-39, Psalm 103:13; Isaiah 49:15-16; 2 Corinthians 1:3
[4] Psalm 23:4; Isaiah 41:10; Romans 8:35; 1 Corinthians 10:13
