How Do I Talk to My Kids about Social Media?
When I was growing up in Southern California in the eighties, I distinctly remember the method of communication my mom used to tell us it was time to come home for dinner. Whether we were playing tag on the elderly couple’s lawn at the corner of the cul-de-sac or house-hopping with the neighborhood kids, we all knew that when the streetlights turned on, everybody had to go home. There were no texts, no DMs, and no cell phone calls. We had streetlights, and when those babies flickered on at dusk, you had about four minutes to walk through the front door of your respective house . . . or else.
Fast forward to now, when there are virtually no barriers to communication. An article released in 2019 reported that more than half of US children now own a cell phone by the age of eleven.[1] On that cell phone, they might have access to countless social media apps that their parents don’t yet even know exist. Even with the improvements made to parental controls on various devices, the native language of our kids is all things digital, and it seems they can always find a workaround. It’s a whole new world, and each parent will have to make tough decisions about when to allow their children to have cell phones and social media . . . if at all. It’s a task that is not for the faint of heart. Regardless of when and how those decisions are made in each household, I think it’s vital that we as Christian moms start honest and open conversations with our kids about the pitfalls of social media as early as possible.
Here are six quick points we can communicate to our children when it comes to social media:
1. You are now a worldview minority.
One of the most important truths we can teach our kids as they consider social media is to recognize and get comfortable with the fact that Christian beliefs are largely out of fashion in our culture.[2] In fact, a recent study concluded that of the 69% of Americans who identify themselves as Christian, only 9% actually hold a biblical worldview.[3] Our kids need to understand from the start that if they believe what the Bible says, their opinions will not be popular, especially on social media. But we can also encourage them that, even when mocked, attacked, or rejected for our faith, Christ promises to overcome this world and bring blessing and eternal reward from these trials.[4]
2. Truth is determined by what is real—not your feelings.
Our culture has bought into a great many lies, the most prevalent of which is that truth depends on what a person feels rather than on what corresponds with reality. But Scripture clearly declares itself to be the ultimate standard of truth, as the divinely inspired Word of God.[5] We can teach our kids the importance of submitting our emotions, affections, and opinions to the Lord, letting him renew them in the truth.[6] Educating our children in some basic logic and critical thinking skills will also help them recognize much of the bad reasoning they will encounter on social media.[7]
3. You don’t have to listen to everyone else’s opinion before you can decide your own.
One of the pitfalls of social media is that it has caused an entire generation to become very skeptical on one hand and very gullible on the other. Because there is no end to the hot takes, opinion pieces, and outright propaganda, many young people don’t know how to determine what is true. Often, they end up looking to their favorite social media influencer or whichever voices are the loudest to form their beliefs. Reinforcing the nature of truth and the importance of critical thinking will help them navigate the cult of personality that social media has become. God is the one ultimate voice and influence that outlasts all others, and, as his children, we want to follow and shape our opinions around him.[8]
4. Social media isn’t the whole story.
Currently, the most popular Instagram hashtags are #love, #instagood, #fashion, #photooftheday, and #beautiful. The hashtag #happy also made the top ten. Many of us have sat with a friend as they’ve poured out their heart about an unhappy marriage, impossible health diagnosis, or hidden depression diagnosis, only to check Instagram and see them smiling warmly in a selfie with the hashtag #bestlife. As moms, we know social media’s limitations because we grew up without it. So we can help our kids understand what social media is . . . and what it is not. It’s a highlight reel, not a reflection of the complexities of real life.
5. Social media is a choice, not a necessity.
Having a social media profile is absolutely not essential, even though sometimes it may feel that way. In fact, some of the most peaceful and well-adjusted people I know avoid it like the plague. As moms, we can help our kids weigh the pros and cons and teach them to ask questions like:
Is this causing me to waste time?
Do I feel anxious every time I check my news feed?
Is this causing me to see other people as enemies?
Is this causing me to focus too much on myself?
Is this hindering my relationship with the Lord?
Is this tempting me to believe things that are untrue?
Is this keeping me from prayer and Bible study?
Our kids need to know that they can live without social media, and it’s okay to take a break or delete those accounts at any time.
6. Pride is a sin.
This one may sound harsh, but as Christians, we want to define terms biblically. Our kids are growing up in a culture that literally celebrates pride—and social media glorifies it. But God never designed us to be the center of attention, inviting people to follow everything we do, think, and say, along with a cute selfie. We can help our kids wisely navigate the culture of pride by teaching them what God says about it. The Bible connects pride with strife[9] and disgrace.[10] It is something God hates and opposes.[11] On the contrary, the Bible praises the opposite of pride, which is humility. James 4:10 tells us that God lifts up the humble. So whether our kids engage or refrain from social media, we can teach them to do so with a heart not to glorify self but to point others to the Lord.
When it comes to helping our kids navigate the pitfalls of social media, don’t forget to pray! I pray this verse over my kids and invite you to do the same: “It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ” (Philippians 1:9-10).
[2] https://natashacrain.com/committed-christians-are-now-a-minority-and-kids-need-to-know-it/
[4] Luke 6:22-23; John 16:33
[5] Psalm 119:160; John 17:17; 1 Thessalonians 2:13; 2 Timothy 3:16
[6] Proverbs 3:5-6, 14:12-13, 28:26; Jeremiah 17:9; 1 John 3:20
[7] I recommend the Foundation Worldview curriculum, and the Fallacy Detective.
[8] Deuteronomy 13:4, 28:1-2; Psalm 85:8; Matthew 6:33; John 8:47, 10:27-28
[9] Proverbs 13:10
[10] Proverbs 11:2
[11] Proverbs 8:13, 16:5; James 4:6
