Have I Missed My True Calling?
“If you don’t wake up in the morning excited to pick up where you left your work yesterday, you haven’t found your calling yet.”
All across the internet we find words like these to inspire women with big dreams. Our culture not only pushes the message that we can find purpose and fulfillment in our work, but also tells us that if we’re not following our dreams, we’re missing out. But what about motherhood? If this current season no longer excites us as it once did, have we missed our “true calling”?
The promise that excitement and happiness are on the other side of our “calling” or “dream” can have devastating effects on moms across the world. The Lord has entrusted me with three kids whom I dearly love. It has been such a joy to care for their goofy personalities, curious minds, and tender hearts. But I will be the first to admit that motherhood isn’t something that always exhilarates me and makes me want to jump out of bed each morning. There are some days when I feel the opposite. Depending on how the day unfolds, being a mom drains me and has me looking forward to bedtime. I’ve felt the pressure from social media, watching other people’s dreams come true while feeling that the cyclical tasks of diaper changes and dishes are without purpose. I’ve questioned my own callings and, at times, have felt that motherhood held me back from bigger and brighter things.
I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way. Some moms forgo incredible career opportunities to stay home with their children. Other moms have a deep desire to stay home with their kids but work full-time to support the lives they’re entrusted with. In both instances, these women have honorably chosen to love and serve others around them, but every day isn’t always exciting.
The problem with quotes like the one above is that they deem everything outside of the “exciting” worthless. In an effort to find our “true calling" or "purpose," we end up on an endless goose-chase after the next thing that brings self-fulfillment. Think about something that once excited you. It could be something as big as a new car or as small as a new pair of shoes. Those first initial days or weeks were exciting, but eventually that excitement wears off. Does this mean the car is no longer worth driving? Or the shoes no longer worth wearing? Motherhood is exciting at times, but it’s not consistently thrilling all the time, and that’s okay. Here’s the thing: our callings aren't only purposeful when they're fun or exciting, they're purposeful because they're an opportunity to glorify the God who designed them.
Another danger is the thought that we can miss our calling. A few years ago, I met a woman who was a wife, adoptive mom, and teacher. Despite all the obvious ways she’s impacted her home and community, she felt purposeless as if she had missed her calling. She sought something that didn't appear so ordinary while failing to see how her everyday acts of loving the people God placed in her path were life-giving and life-changing for the people around her.
We need the Bible to realign our thinking to God’s purpose for his people. When we love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, we have found our calling![1] The Bible tells us that our sin separates us from a holy God.[2] So we need restoration with God, but we often get caught up with being known, seen, and loved by others instead. The allure of riches or social status can distract us. We may be tempted to believe the lie that finding our calling will fill the void within us that only God can. But in looking to Jesus and seeing how much he loved us to die for us and pay the price for our sins, we who confess our sins and place our hope in him are restored. And as a result, we find the contentment and fulfillment we’ve been searching for.[3]
What does this have to do with motherhood and dreaming? Our salvation through Christ changes every aspect of our lives, including the way we parent and chase our dreams. What the world deems impressive or successful is no longer the ultimate goal for us. He renews our minds to view life from an eternal perspective, changing our definition of success from worldly accomplishments and applause to the “success” of hearing, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”[4] Because of Jesus, we now live our lives for God's glory, not our own. Whether we clean up messes or discover the cure for cancer, both may be done for his glory and the good of others. Knowing and loving Jesus injects purpose into everything we do no matter how “big” or “small” the world may view it. Because he transformed our lives, our outlook on life is transformed. Therefore, serving our families—whether as a full-time stay-at-home mom or a full-time working mom—can be less of a “have to,” and more of a “get to.”
I get it. Motherhood—and all the details that go along with it—is often an unseen and thankless job. But God sees us in the moments we often feel so alone. We may not always wake up excited to pick up where we left off yesterday, but when the gospel transforms our lives, it will undoubtedly transform our outlook. We can have joy in motherhood! We can love, serve, and train up our children with all gladness because our calling is fixed in Jesus! We don't have to search for anything else or fear we've missed out on a better life. We can rest in the season of motherhood he has called us to, no matter how different it may look than other women on social media. Sweet mom, if you’re in Christ, you’ve found your calling in him. You are secure in him, and you will never lose that hope.
[1] Matthew 22:37
[2] Romans 3:23
[3] 1 John 1:9[4] Matthew 25:21
